7 Quick Takes. . . What is on my mind lately.

1) Lately I feel like time, in general, has simply vanished.  There is NO TIME for ANYTHING!!  Want to read a book?  Sorry, no time.  Want to sew on boy scout patches?  Sorry, no time for that.  Want to clean off the top of the piano?  Want to redo the living room sacred space?  Want to wash the water bottles?  Want to clean up the kitchen?  Want to actually fold the laundry and put it away before the next wash comes through??  Want to get back in the rhythm of daily family prayer and bible study?

Somehow when I was not looking my life has taken off running without me and I cannot seem to catch it again!!  So what am I doing despite all this missing time?

a) I have managed to find time to feed everyone.

b) School work for the older three is going pretty well.

c) We have gotten back in our regular daily Mass once a week routine.

d) I'm getting the kids to Aikido, swim team, and religion class on Wednesday nights (which I am beginning to be convinced is a colossal waste of everyone's time, but that is for another post).

e) I am nursing and caring for a baby.

Hmmm. . . I guess my afterthought "e" there might be taking up some of that missing time. . . but honestly she is a fairly easy baby.  She does like to be held and nurse quite a bit during the day, but she is by no means a seriously "high maintenance" child.

2) My children's books need assistance.  We have quite a few books.  However, I feel they need to be organized in a different manner.  Right now they span about 8 or 9 shelves of four different bookshelves (the upper shelves are for adult books or photo albums and some of the other shelves are for toys).  I read a post recently from Catholic Icing, about how she organized her books by level and that helped.  I have considered doing such.  I even ordered some stickers for it.  But now I am hesitating as I am not sure I have the capacity to separate them by sticker. . . and really even if I did, some of the books are hardback and some are softcover.  And of the softcover books, they vary greatly by size.  They do not stack well on the shelves. . .at all.  So should I put them in bins or buckets??  I have some canvas bins, but my children have destroyed several of those in the past.  Is this because my children are overly destructive?  Or because I am lax in my parenting?  Or simply because we had the bins for several years and they are not necessarily made to stand up to that kind of stress?  Perhaps I need new shelves (like cubby-type-shelves instead of my regular bookshelves), but I have nowhere to put such shelves and no money for making those kinds of changes right now.

I've also considered splitting up my books into twelve groups and then rotating them by month, but. . . where would I put the ones NOT in rotation?!?!  (We do not exactly have an excess of space around here.)

3) My two-year-old, dear sweet Miriam, is driving me BANANAS at bedtime!!  Why she will not just go to sleep like everyone else is so beyond me.  I know that is a rough age.  I know kids around two and three-years-old like to get up and turn on the light and generally cause a stir.  But good gravy, it has been over three months since we moved her from her crib to her toddler bed.  Get it figured out already!!!  She is the last one to sleep and the first one up.  I have tried adjusting her nap (longer, shorter, earlier, later, skipping. . . hah, that does not happen - she will simply deactivate wherever she is) and that is no help.  I KNOW this phase will pass.  I KNOW all the other children (with the exception of "Angel" Rebekah - who is God's gift to us as the best possible child in the history of ever. . . nothing like setting the bar high for her siblings) went through this and they all go to bed with little fuss now and sleep until morning, no problem.

I think what frustrates me most is not being able to "fix" this problem.  I can lay by her for a while, but it is HOURS before she will fall asleep with me by her side.  I can rock her, but again, I can rock her for AN HOUR (honestly, I will watch the clock) and she will still be awake when I lay her in her bed.  She just needs to figure it out, preferably before I go insane.

4) I am growing to REALLY like my husband.  I just thought I'd throw this one out there with all the rest of the "craziness" I have posted so far.  Despite my current sense of ineptitude in some respects, it is nice to feel as though my husband and I are at the least on the same team, and most days, even playing the same sport!  

I know, I married this man however long ago, you would think I liked him "enough" to do that, right?  Well, of course, but we change as we grow and we are really starting to grow more together.  We appreciate each other more these days.  We are slower to anger (mostly) and quicker to forgive and move on.  

There is so much about marriage that I would say one can only learn as you do it.  And honestly, when I got married, I had NO CLUE!!  Sure we took the marriage classes required by the Church and such.  Sure we went on an Engaged Encounter (which was a royal waste of our time, but again that is for another post).  But I cannot tell you how many times, since getting married, that I have HONESTLY THANKED GOD for giving me such a great husband.  Because I had NO IDEA he was going to be such (or what one would even look like) when I married him!

5) I am beginning to see my faults more. . . and I think this is good.  I have been really trying to get to confession more often.  Lately it has been once a month or so.  And I have REALLY been trying to examine my conscience each night.  I feel like God is trying to pour grace on me, but I need to examine my conscience to scrape out a hole for it to fill!  Then, when I got to confession, I get even MORE grace dumped in to help transform me into a saint.

6) I have started exercising at a fairly intense level again (going on about four weeks now) since I had my last baby.  I really felt like I was more fit this past pregnancy, than I have been for any of my others.  Even the last few weeks did not seem that bad physically.  And then the birth went amazingly well and I recovered fairly quickly.  The only frustrating part at the moment is to see where I was (remembering how my clothes were getting very very loose right before I got pregnant - I had just lost about 25lbs) and see how I am NOT THERE now.  I feel like I am fairly strong still and I have "nice curves" but I was much more lean and quick before.  I hope to get there again.  I am trying to be patient and give myself some time.  It is a conscious act of the will to do so.

7) God has blessed us with some amazing neighbors.  Honestly, my kids go play in the next-door neighbors' yard AT LEAST three or four times a week - often for hours on end - and the neighbors even seem to like having them there!!  Plus I can get some "adult conversation" (and chatting with my stay-home-mom neighbor is better than dessert.  She is so skilled at conversation she should be a therapist - seriously, I LOVE to talk with her!!  She is so good at asking questions and reformulating what I am saying to show she really is listening.  I am so in awe of her social skills!) anytime I pop over to join in the fun the kids are having.  Then on the other side we have an older couple with their kids all grown, but they are super-friendly and supportive of our kiddos.  Across the street is a nice "old guy" that often gives us fresh produce from his garden.  And down on the corner is another fun family with kids!!  My husband wants to move out in the country.  While I would not mind this, I cannot help but be SO GRATEFUL for the loving and supportive people he has given us right outside the home we have now.

Well, there you have it.  The top seven subjects rolling around in my brain right now.  I hope you enjoyed them.  Coming soon (hopefully) will be "the case of the missing birthdays" (aka, a recap of Rebekah's 9th birthday, which was in July, and Jacob's 6th birthday, which was in August).  So stay tuned!!

Zipporah approves of this message :)

My Latest Brilliance

We have just finished up our first round of mid-year dental appointments here.  Our dentist recently changed things up so we have to go in for our check-up and THEN schedule ANOTHER VISIT for the cleaning. I'm less than thrilled to say the least, but I digress. . . . Two of my children have showed some tooth decay (Samuel last year and now Jacob this year), so I realize it is time for me to "step up" the brushing.  In an attempt to do so, I have now started having the kids use an electric toothbrush.  I have one and I purchased a second so we can have two people brushing at a time and that is really about all that can comfortably fit at the sink anyhow.  In an attempt at cleanliness, I gave each child their own toothbrush head.  And in the beginning we kept them each in their own plastic baggie (labeled with their names in sharpie), on the bathroom counter.  That worked real well. . . ok, not really, but it was all I could think of!!  And then, last night I was at Wal-mart and kept my eyes open for something.  After much browsing in the "bathroom stuff" aisle I began to finally start to visualize what I was needed.  Then, as I was gathering a few office supplies, I stumbled upon this. . . 

No, it did not come with the labels.  I added those.

The drawers are perfect for holding tooth brush heads!  And some toothpaste and old toothbrushes (for traveling and Miriam still uses a plain hand-held toothbrush) on top!

School Days. . .

These are a few of my favorite things. . . 

We are homeschooling again this year.  As difficult as it can be to prepare for (and to survive), the more I do it, the more I cannot imagine going back to traditional school.

This year we are trying something a little different as we have enrolled in an online virtual public school.  So it is "public school" at home.  There are pros and cons with it for us.

There is quite a bit of computer work involved in their studies and they all enjoy that A LOT!  It makes this method "fresh" and "new," and even "fun!"

But there is still lots of book work and traditional reading and writing going on, as well.  We are slowly getting in the groove of how things work.

I am hoping to finally put together "my part" of their schooling this weekend.  (Since Catholicism and Scripture are not offered at a public school.)  Likewise, our Sacred Space could use a face lift and our daily prayer has been sporadic (as we have not quite mastered the new schedule yet).  Although I have some guilt about not starting/doing these things sooner, I keep reminding myself that I am still recovering from/adjusting to this new baby!!  So I need to cut myself a little slack now and again.

We have had one of our upstairs bedrooms termed "the study" for the past several years, and we have attempted to do school work in it for a couple, but this year, it finally seems to be working!!  I believe the secret is having ME in the study with them.  I used to get them started and expect them to do their work, while I went and sat in "the comfy chair" in the living room (away from them).  Although this was great for nursing the baby, the children really need me by their side as they work, even if it is just for moral support.

Here is our current set-up.  The little table is for Paul and Miriam.  They do not do much school yet, but we have a plethora of educational toys that they enjoy.  Then the desk Rebekah is at in this picture is actually Samuel's desk.  Jacob is sitting on my chair (the blue one ) which is truly part of the secret this year.  My husband picked up this chair at a work auction and it is amazing.  It is VERY comfortable and obviously has wheels, so I can scoot over by each of the children as needed.

In this picture, Paul is at the computer Rebekah likes to use.  And the table beside it with the tall chair is where Jacob sits.

Rebekah also has a large desk we inherited from my mom.  It is good for her as she likes to collect stuff (twigs, leaves, craft stuff, cards, etc) and this desk has lots of places to put "stuff."

Everybody loves whiteboards here.

Here are the majority of our "educational toys."  I considered tidying them all up for the picture and then promptly decided a "real life" shot would be much easier and realistic, to boot!  :)

I guess the heart of our homeschooling can really be summed up in an encounter I had the other day.  I was making dinner and Rebekah came to ask me if I "had time" to come help her.  And although it was a simple request, I just felt it resonate deep down.  I love "having time" for them.  I LOVE sitting beside them and helping them learn.  Through the insanity and struggle with schedules and children wearing their "grumpy pants," I feel blessed beyond measure each and every day.

7 Random Takes for the end of August

1) Miriam likes to take a running start to get her clothes on or lay down to get her diaper changed.  Seriously, she goes back a good eight or ten paces and runs at me, then stops (not such a big deal as she does not run all that fast yet) and lets me put her shirt over her head or lay her down to change her diaper.  For some reason, I find this entertaining rather than annoying.

2) I am having some guilt over not blogging on some key events (namely Rebekah's birthday - that was at the beginning of July!! - and Jacob's birthday, that was this month, but a while ago).  I am still trying to decide if I should do a post for them (of some sort) or not.  I guess if I hesitate long enough it will be time for their next birthdays, right?  :)

3) We are starting school next week.  I finally got the study all cleaned up and the desks are ready.  I would post a picture, but I am pinned down by the baby at the moment so you will have to take my word for it.  Although I have enjoyed this "lazy time" the past few weeks, as the rest of the world has started schooling ahead of us, I think we are ready to buckle down and get to some "serious" learning here. . . or at least get back in a more structured routine.

4) Adapting to life with six children has been considerably easier than expected.  I am not sure if it is because the last few weeks of pregnancy went so well for some reason, or because her birth was so great, or because I just seem to be getting better at having babies!  (Which is odd because I assumed it would get worse the more kids I had - as it would wear my body out more, and then of course, it would be more difficult as I got older - but I seem to still be going stronger than ever.  I guess I'm not old yet.)

5) Even though it has been "easier than expected" to adapt to having six children, I am still having a bit of a transition.  I have finally gotten the freezer stocked again with some ready-made or quick meals.  We do not rely on these all the time, but they are exceedingly handy in a pinch.  I cannot seem to get the house organized at the moment.  I finally mastered the study, but now the laundry/storage room is exploding.  Plus, the baby has already outgrown quite a few outfits and the clothes bins need to be sorted again.  The fun just never ends!!

6) Two of my children have cavities now.  (Well, Samuel had one last year and had it filled.  Today I discovered Jacob has a cavity that needs to be filled.)  I suppose we need to work on our brushing (I had been having Rebekah and Samuel help the younger ones).  I have started letting the kids use an electric toothbrush (different heads for each) so I am hoping this will help some.  Since it has been going well, I ordered a second one (so we can double up and not take so long to get all that brushing done).  I am trying not to let this make me feel like a bad parent.


7) Zipporah is an amazing baby, much like her sister Rebekah.  At about a month and a half old she started sleeping 8-10 hours a night.  She has continued to do so (settling more like 10 or 11 now).  I was hesitant to say anything for a while, as I know there can be some random occurrences, but she has stayed pretty consistent so far.

And if you have read this far, you deserve some pictures, so here are some that I find absolutely hilarious.  My husband is. . . such a kid.

And here are a couple random shots of my husband crashing my Catholic Motherhood group so he can hold one of the babies.  He is blessed among women - hehe :)

7 Quick Takes

1) Miriam's latest words are "Help, me," but it sounds more like "Hap, me" and to say her name, "Meeeum!!" which she does quite forcefully if she thinks she is going to get left out of something her big brothers and sister are doing/getting.

2) So on two separate occasions I have now managed to put Zipporah's clothes on backwards.  And to make matters worse, the first time was with a cute little jumper that my mother-in-law had purchased.  I put Zipporah in it when Grandma came to visit, only for Grandma to arrive and say, "you have that on backwards. . . "  Yep, I totally failed at sucking up that day.  The second time a dear friend knitted a beautiful dress for her and I even took a picture of her in said dress (with it on backwards) only to realize as I put her in the dress for the second time last night, that I had put it on her backwards the last time.  I am definitely a failure when it comes to style apparently!

3) I stumbled upon a recipe for Banana Breakfast Cookies (that a good friend had posted the link to on facebook - I'm not sure if she reads my blog, but if so, thanks Alison!!) and it has definitely been a game changer around here.  I should add that I do change them up just a little - to our family's liking, but generally this is the recipe.  Normally we do cereal and "something more filling" (like peanut butter and jelly toast or breakfast bars) for breakfast.  These Banana Breakfast Cookies are like a bowl of oatmeal in cookie form. Brilliant!!  Less mess when eating and I can make up a quadruple batch (which I split between fridge and freezer) to last for a couple weeks.  They are insanely more handy than putting peanut butter and jelly on five pieces of toast!!

4) We are going to try something new for our schedule this year.  Instead of individual date nights with each of the kids (we tried to do one for each kid - other than Miriam and Zipporah - once a month) we are going to have "family night" every Thursday where we will do something together as a family.  I am pointing out ahead of time that this can be as simple as going out to dinner or watching a movie or just having a special dessert.  But I'm thinking more like a family hike or game night would be ideal.

5) Another schedule change is for Gordie and I to have a standing "date night" on Fridays.  As with "family night" I am saying from the beginning that this can be simple - maybe just watching some tv or making a special meal or treat or something.  But I really want to see this as a chance to focus on the two of us.  We just celebrated 10 years of marriage and the importance of this sacrament finally dawned on me.  (Yes, I can be a little slow sometimes.)  This is the foundation for our life together and if we are not building it up, then we are tearing it down.  

I think I am especially guilty of just glossing over our relationship to each other as I live and breathe my "job" as homemaker.  And doing Gordie's laundry and making his coffee are really only the "nuts and bolts" of what keep us going.  I want something to look forward to - a time I will try to step out of my regular routine (which is a struggle as I think part of my problem is that I am always in the same place - there is no "going" to work and coming "home."  I am always at work and at home, so "turning off the job" (which I love) is especially hard for me) and really see and hear and focus on just my husband and the joy we share as a couple.

6) I like to use soap foamers at our sinks for hand washing as my children like soap and I don't want to be wasteful.  So using the foamers allows me to use about a third the amount of soap per fill that we would use if I did straight soap.  Anyhow, the kids occasionally break the foamers (as they are kids and occasionally break almost EVERYTHING - they are DEFINITELY why I cannot have nice things).  So I recently got a new one for the bathroom upstairs and it is like a soap foamer with super powers.  It is way cool and really pumps out the foam like crazy with just one push.  So the new game for the kids is to duck down while they push it so it will foam over their hands and into their hair.  Why they find this so entertaining is beyond me, but hey, maybe I can skip a bath night because of it, right?  :)

7) I recently replaced my ring sling.  I had one from "Over the Shoulder Baby Holder" and it was AWESOME.  I had it for nine years and used it like crazy.  It is not my only carrier - I am also a big fan of the Ergo carrier and the moby wrap - but I find the sling handiest for breastfeeding and the quickest/easiest to put on for taking baby in and out of the car (as we do convertible carseats, rather than the "baby bucket").  So anyhow, since "Over the Shoulder Baby Holder" is now out of business (so sad), I found a sling from rockinbaby.com on a deals site (deals.com) for exactly what I was prepared to pay to replace my old sling (less than half of what they go for on the main website).  Thanks God!!

My buddy today (here in the Ergo carrier).   Apparently there is nothing better than being carried around by Mom.

Journal #22

Out My Window:

Sunny, hot, little bit of wind.  Overall it has not been too bad the last couple of days - only up to about 90 degrees, rather than the 110 degrees a week ago.  (Yes I said ONE HUNDRED AND TEN DEGREES!!  This part of Kansas is crazy hot in the summer and cold in the winter.  I guess I only live here because that is all I have ever known.)

Clothing Myself In:

Gym shorts, (Actually they have "Lady Barons #33 on them.  They are my shorts from playing basketball in college.  Some days I really miss playing basketball.  If I ever get done being pregnant and "recovering" from being pregnant I am going to pick up that ball again!!) sneakers, and an undershirt-type tank top (a concession to the heat, the baby liking to be worn all day, and the fact that I am not planning on doing anything "public" today).

Around the House:

I printed a few of the pictures from Zipporah's birth and am quite pleased with them.  Although now I know that when printing on canvas, I should make the pictures a little darker than I think they need to be so the contrast will be right.  There was no way for me to know this as the pictures looked fine online and I have never had canvas prints before.  But now I know for next time.

Pardon the paper taped at the bottom.  I don't think I will ever have a "grown up" house, but I'm coming to grips with that.

In the midst of "redecorating" (which consisted mostly of taking down a bunch of school work and such I had stuck up all over the living room) I did find and put up an old picture I have had for a long time but for whatever reason had hidden behind in a corner, waiting to be put up.  It is The Annunciation by Fra Angelico.

You cannot see it very well in this picture, but I like the way the colors look on our yellow walls.  In any case, it makes me happy to see it and to change things up a bit.

The Baby:

She is growing like crazy.  I am always amazed how quickly my babies grow!  She has been out of newborn clothing since the end of the first week and is in size 2 paper diapers as of a few weeks ago.  We are mostly doing cloth, but we have been using paper for trips.  She is a GREAT baby.  She sleeps well at night - often giving me 6-8 hour stretches (not absolutely consistent - some nights it is only 4, but I will still take that).  She is generally pretty mellow.  Something that sets her apart from her siblings is that she will often "finish" nursing.  Most of the other kids would nurse to asleep.  Zipporah will nurse and be "done" and then I will rock her or wear her to sleep.  Of course, being baby #6, I often nurse her while walking around and caring for the other kiddos, so maybe she is just used to the movement.  She naps well in her crib, though, too (once she is sound asleep) so as I said earlier, I am not complaining about her in the slightest.

The Kids:

Due to the craziness of adding another family member and surviving a week on vacation the kids are going a little crazy right now.  I HOPE it is simply a lack of routine and general order that is making them a bit more grumpy and irritating (especially toward each other) right now.  If not we are going to have "be kind to others" class added to our school schedule PRONTO!  

(On a somewhat related note, I have been ESPECIALLY crabby to my dear young children over the past few weeks as I stressed over vacation prep and over other silly things, so that could be causing some of their lack of good behavior.  I have since chastised myself - and gone to confession -and am back to remembering to breathe before lashing out at them or life in general. )

Everyone has been super-helpful when it comes to caring for Zipporah.  Rebekah can transport her safely and hold her and get her plug (which she is not too fond of yet) and change her diaper.  She is pretty amazing.  The boys will sing to her and can hold her with assistance.  Even Miriam loves her and is often helpful, giving her gentle kisses on her head and getting her blanket for her.  The only time she is "not so helpful" is when she tries to touch her eyes (as all kids seem to have a fascination to do).

We are prepping for the next "school year" which will most likely "start" for us in September, but I am hoping to jump back into regular school work in the next few days (as we still have some activities I planned for the summer that got dropped as the baby came and I recovered).

Crafting:

Remember the baby sack I was working on while I was pregnant with Zipporah?  Well I did finish it before she was born, but since I never take time to gauge my stitches, coupled with the fact that I did not have a pattern but was just making it up as I went, it was a bit large for her.  It fits her now.  I will work on getting a picture one of these days.

Now I am back to working on my a scarf for my mom.  A scarf I started over two years ago.  I am over half way now, so maybe in another couple years I will finally finish it.  

Reading:

Rebekah has started reading Little Women and it has been a while since I read it, so I am reading it again to be able to discuss it with her.

Bringing Me Joy:

*My husband.  He works so hard for our family and puts up with me like none other.

*Cleaning.  (Seriously, this time I still seem to have some "nesting" left in me even though Zipporah is here.  I have been cleaning and getting rid of some things and I really enjoy a clean, organized space.)

Bible Verse:

You have been born anew, not of perishable, but of imperishable seed, through the living and enduring word of God.  For "All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass.  The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord endures forever.  (1 Peter 1:23-25)

Pictures To Share:

Miriam, Zipporah, and Rebekah - Sisters

Miriam and Zipporah

Iron-Miriam

Rebekah (nine-years-old) and Zipporah (4-weeks-old)

Rebekah painted Miriam's nails.  Oh sisters :)

Zipporah's Birth

It was a dark and stormy night. . . 

Actually, it was a warm day in mid-June.  Since my last four births were inductions I was sort-of expecting the same this time, while trying to be hopeful it would not happen.  In any case, even though I had gotten to the point of planning childcare for the "big day" I was still thrown off-guard mentally at my last appointment when "it became real."  Every time, it seems that happens.  As much as I try to prepare, I am still a blubbering mess the minute my doc says, how about "this day."

I had decided to wait until the next Monday, June 23rd. . . but then as I saw my doctor the Monday before (on my due date, June 16) said she said I would need to come in for a non-stress test on Thursday, I joked about bringing my bag and just staying, but she looked at me seriously and said I could come in on Wednesday (June 18) instead. . . if I wanted.  Goodness, I felt like she had just asked if I wanted my arm or my leg cut off.  I could NOT decide!!  I spent most of the day in agony.  Seriously.  Finally, even though I wanted so badly to give myself more time, it really fit in everyone's schedule (my husband, my parents, my in-laws) better if we went ahead and "did it" on Wednesday.  And after some reflection (especially now that the induction went as it did) I honestly believe if we had decided to wait until Monday, I still would have had to be induced, it just would have been a few days later and a bit more inconvenient for everyone.

So the morning of my induction day (set to begin that evening - around 7:30pm), I woke up early and went for a nice long walk (as was my custom during the later weeks of pregnancy, once my belly became too large for jogging).  It was nice and peaceful.  I was enjoying myself and chatting with God, and suddenly I look down and 500,000 mosquitoes were attacking my legs!!  Seriously!!  Where did they come from and how did I not notice them earlier?!?!  (Well, I was wearing compression pantyhose, and I "feel" those all the time, so I guess that is why I did not notice them earlier, but to have them all attack at once was quite unnerving!!)  I spent the rest of my walk (about 30 more minutes to get back home) looking down at my legs (first front and then back - making my gait quite awkward) every five seconds to check for/swat at mosquitoes!!  I felt like I had gotten jumped in the subway and those 30 minutes were MISERABLE.  All I could think was, "Really, God?!?!  Was that necessary?!?!"  Anyhow, about 10 minutes from home I realized I was early enough this morning that I could probably jump in the shower and still make it to the church near my house for the 8am daily Mass.  My brain thought, "Good idea!!" so I picked up the pace, speed-showered, and ran up to the church only to discover they do not have the 8am daily Mass on Wednesdays. . . only Tuesdays and Thursdays (the days we usually attend with the local Catholic school).  So slap-in-the-face number two. . .

I pushed on with my day, finished packing/prepping the house to be gone a few days, etc. and managed to get my husband and oldest daughter, Rebekah (who would be attending the birth with me), to Plainville (30 minutes away - where I would deliver), not only on-time, but early!!  We got them Dairy Queen burgers for dinner (the husband's favorite) and I skipped because I was too nervous to eat.

Notice my husband's humor. . . he was quick to "doodle" on our white-board.

We had to enter through the Emergency entrance because that is the only door not locked after 6 pm.  The ladies there, though, were most helpful and friendly.  Shortly after getting settled they started me on cervadil.  Although many of my friends have great stories of labor happening shortly after starting this drug, I cannot add my story to theirs.  The best I had were some fairly regular "wimpy" contractions by morning.  Fortunately I was able to sleep fairly well - even in that uncomfortable hospital bed.

So then that morning I had to make ANOTHER DECISION!!  Blargh, why is giving birth full of so many choices?!?!  

(But on the flip side, I am grateful to be consulted.  I should note that when I got there, my nurse told me, "This is YOUR birth.  Whatever YOU want, let us know."  And I really carried that attitude with me.  This is MY BIRTH.  I am in charge and they are here to assist/help.)

I was not eager to start pitocin, but I was not quite ready to "just go home" and come back on Monday.  So we decided to do some walking.  We walked from Rooks County Health Center (RCHC) to the awesome playground at Sacred Heart Catholic School in Plainville.  Although it takes five minutes to make the trip by car, it is apparently about two miles one way.  Who knew?  My doctor was a little shocked to hear that we went so far but my family really enjoys "destination" walks, so this was perfect for us.

After letting my daughter play some we walked on to the local convenience store for her and my husband to pick up some snacks.  By the time we got back to RCHC my contractions (which had been every 3-5 minutes for a minute to a minute and a half long) were getting stronger.  I was hopeful that maybe things would keep going.  Unfortunately as I sat down for a bit back in my room, they practically stopped.

I was grateful for this opportunity to try and "do it on my own" but I finally realized that I NEEDED the pitocin.  So we ate lunch and got it started.  Oddly enough, even with the pitocin, my contractions were not all the regular (which is not how pitocin usually works for me - normally they come fast and furious) and they were not all that strong either (but that is NOT uncommon for me in the beginning of starting pitocin).  Once the pitocin started I had to be "babysat" in case anything went wrong.  But I did not mind because I had an AMAZING nurse.  Seriously, she is THE BEST LABOR NURSE EVER!   What I remember most about her was feeling so comfortable.  With other labor nurses, I know they are there to help me and keep me safe, but there is almost a "fear" about them -a sense of "I have to protect you, I HOPE you will listen to me, and I am AFRAID for what you are going through."  There was none of that with Nancy.  She was completely relaxed and calm and it might have helped that we had similar interests in tv shows and books.  It was as if I had my best friend in the room, although we just met that morning.  Plus she was always reminding me to change positions every so often and suggesting other things to try and help the baby move down and open my hips, etc, but without being pushy or over-bearing about it.  Nancy was a tremendous blessing and I will be singing her praises for A LONG TIME and probably be requesting her if/when I end up delivering at RCHC again.

A couple hours of so-so contractions came and went.  I listened to some soothing music, got bored, watched an episode of Eureka, and then just sat and talked with Nancy for a while.  Finally around 5pm my doc came in and broke my water.  I had been wanting her to do that a bit sooner, but she had some patients to see, some loose ends to tie up, etc.  Since I was not in major discomfort yet I did not mind so much.  I was only at a loose 4 by this point.  However, once she broke my water, I immediately KNEW it was time for things to start happening.  I was nauseous and shaking.  I told my husband to call our birth photographer and tell her the baby would probably be here within an hour.  He looked at me skeptically and double-checked, "really, ONE hour?!?!"  I told him I could be wrong (although deep inside, I did not doubt my prediction) but just tell her "things are happening."  Fortunately, she was planning to come once she got off work at 5pm, so she was already on her way.  (Good thing, too, as I ended up delivering about 50 minutes later.)

This is where I mentally began to go crazy as I KNEW the end was close, but THIS WAS THE HARD PART!!  My favorite position ended up being hands and knees on the bed, with the head of the bed way up for me to grab on.  I had failed to get myself some cute "labor clothes" (one item from the "to do" list that just never got done) so here I was in my old giant t-shirt that I happened to be wearing when I came the day before and nothing else - giant arse up in the air for all to see.  But that's what labor is, right?  :)  At this point though, the pain was getting intense enough I really did not care AT ALL.  Now I care.  But then, not so much.  It was all I could do to breath through the contractions as they were the rough ones.  Fortunately there were only a few - I counted the REALLY BAD ones - somewhere between 6 and 10, I would say and did my best to offer up the pain for the intentions of my friends (that I had carefully listed out and read through earlier).

The handy thing about this position was that I did not have to switch to let my doc check me.  Which sounds silly, but it was a major perk as laying on my back during this part of labor is THE WORST for me.  Finally I felt the baby move down into my pelvis and my doc confirmed I was complete.  Then she asked if I wanted to deliver squatting.

ANOTHER DECISION!!  Sheesh!! 

(I say in jest, of course, I wrote a labor plan and mentally prepped myself for this moment as I really enjoy the pushing part and I wanted to savor it.  If I can say that without sound dumb, of course :)

I had WANTED to deliver in the birthing tub.  It was in my birth plan and everything.  But I knew the minute they hooked up the pitocin that would not happen as you cannot be on pictocin and have a water birth.  I would have to be off the pitocin for at least 30 minutes before getting in the water.  So plan B. . . They had brought in a squat bar, but I was more excited about the birthing stool.

This is might be hard to believe, but this picture was taken as I climbed off the bed, getting ready to push.  I was SO HAPPY!!  Giving birth is such a rush!  Notice my awesome nurse, Nancy, holding the doppler for the baby so they could hear her heartbeat?  She went above and beyond, for sure.  And my doc is behind me, prepping for delivery I guess. . . or maybe tying her shoe?  (LOL :)

In any case, I hopped off the bed, and I remember shouting out my thanks to God for getting me to that point!!  It was like seeing the finish line about a hundred yards out after a marathon.  (No, I have not run a marathon yet, but I would imagine that is what it is like, ok?  On a side note, running a marathon has been added to my "bucket list.")

Pushing.

I decided to just squat and began pushing.  After the first push, my doctor had me stop a minute to check if the cord was wrapped around the baby's neck.  It was not, but I had a bit of a cervical lip, apparently.  So she simply lifted it over the baby's head, easy peasy.  (Apparently that is quite painful, but I don't remember feeling it at all.)  Then another push and out fell Miss Zipporah.

You have to look closely, but down there, right by my doctor's hand, you can see a baby hand.  She just arrived.

I am taking off my shirt in this picture.  So I can put that baby on my chest.

Deliriously happy :)

Cute chubby baby face.

Pure bliss.

I should put this up on my facebook page and ask for captions as I have no idea what Gordie was saying here and can think of nothing pithy to put at the moment.

Here my doctor is giving my daughter a lesson on "placentas."  The other ladies standing by her were "learning" doctors that where shadowing Dr. Brull.  (I was WELL taken care of :)  I really love how she was very enthusiastic about me having Rebekah there.

I was back and forth on having Rebekah come.  When I initially asked her (shortly after telling her we were pregnant) she said she did not want to be there, but then about a week before she told me she could not decide.  Then the DAY BEFORE she said she WANTED to come.  I am so glad she was there.  She was a great help and it was an experience I am sure she will treasure.

I am so blessed to have such a great doctor!!

And I cannot thank God enough for this amazing birth and this amazing baby.  I love you, Zipporah Marie!!