My Recet Random Recommendations

I have reached a point in my life again where I have opinions about things and recommendations.  So here they are. . . the things that matter to me right now and thus what I have been researching and studying and making decisions about.

Books that help broach and explain difficult topics:

1) Wonderfully Made!  Babies: A Catholic Perspective on How and Why God Makes Babies

This is a wonderful book for an initial understanding of what Chris West so eloquently calls "the one-flesh-union."  It is beautifully written and easy to read (aka short with lots of pictures).  I sit down and read it to my kiddos when they are "of age" (which I feel is my discretion and changes depending on the child).

2) The Ultimate Girls' Body Book

This is a great book for your daughter to read independently and then come to you to clarify any questions she might have.  It covers almost everything I can think of from growing breasts to tattoos and although the authors are not Catholic, they are VERY CHRISTIAN and it shows in their great presentation of the body as being VERY GOOD.  They are also doctors so that adds some credibility to their advice and suggestions.

3) The Ultimate Boys' Body Book

I have a confession here. . . although this book is currently in possession, I have not read it yet.  But I read the one for girls and was incredibly impressed.  I am hoping to buzz through this one soon and pass it on to my oldest son.

4) Good Pictures Bad Pictures

This book covers pornography.  It is written so you can sit down and read it with your child.  It has a great message and plan of approach for the topic.  And I would venture to say this is an important topic to cover BEFORE your children stumble on it themselves and get all confused and other issues potentially develop.  If you are worried about "exposing them" to this too soon, I would not worry about this book doing that.  It is informative and precise, but not explicit.  I think it does a great job of conveying what the concern is and how to avoid it.

5) All Things Girl

This book does a great job of addressing topics for girls in a positive way.  It includes references to the catechism.  It emphasizes many girls' attraction and concern for fashion and social topics - addressing that these are common for women and girls to be concerned about, but then to encourage taking things a bit further - to be Christ to your friends, to focus on prayer, not get caught up in social details, etc.

Bras - for nursing or just regular wear

I am still on this restorative exercise kick.  And part of it deals with the clothing you wear as obviously you need to wear clothing that allows your body to move as it should.  In any case, to be blunt, Katy (my restorative exercise guru) says that your hanging bits are basically meant to hang!  This includes women's hanging bits.  And man has this been a game changer for me.  I kept trying to find the PERFECT bra - that was supportive but not oppressive.  I have since concluded it does not exist.  And instead I have found that bras with LESS support are working much better for me!!  I slowly cut down on my bra-wearing, often going without in the evenings and then lighter support during the day.  Now I still wear a bra basically all day, but it is simply an organic cotton slip-on and it is bliss - pure bliss :)

I buy from a company called "Decent Exposures" and they are awesome.   You order exactly what you want (each bra is custom made) and then if you have any problems, they adjust it for free within the first 60 days and then for a small fee, they will even adjust it after that - up to creating an entirely new bra for you!  (such as if you needed a bigger cup size)  They are so friendly and helpful.  I ordered my first bra, had it adjusted, liked it, and decided to order two more.  Since it was fairly close to the first order they went ahead and gave me a discount for buying three at a time!

The only downside is that since each bra is custom made, it takes a bit for your order to be processed (like several weeks to a month) but I feel it is worth the wait to get exactly what I want.

You CAN get nursing flaps on these, but honestly since they are simply pull-on bras, I just slip down to nurse, easy peasy - no cups to flip, no clasps to find, no boobs hanging out half of Mass because I could not get properly readjusted.  These are the most awesome bras ever.

My Initial Reaction to Katy Bowman's book, "Move Your DNA"

I stumbled upon Katy Bowman's blog (Katy Says) as a link in a facebook group, in answer to a question about exercises to do at home. This post was about squatting. I read the post, took note of her pictures, and concluded my “squatting position” (thinking “the position I use to do weighted squats as part of my exercise in my home gym”) was fine. Was that the point of my friend posting this? No. Katy is not about exercise (although she is not against it). She is about looking at humans as whole beings – all of our parts, all of the time – in our current living conditions (environment). And to Katy, squatting is not an exercise, it should be a huge chunk of our lives as our bodies were designed to squat. We were also designed to spend much of our days standing and walking, but we do not do that so much anymore. And before you think walking from your car around the store and standing in line is what I mean, I will clarify that it is not. I mean walking four or five miles to the store, standing for an hour or two and walking the four or five miles home – and then going on about the rest of the day. But I digress.

Let me back up.  Here is my general understanding of things (and I am not claiming to be the end-all-be-all or get it all right, but if I'm understanding correctly, here is the scoop): 

Katy Bowman is a biomechanist (that means she studies the mechanics of how the body works - think bones and muscles) that in this book (Move Your DNA) is basically looking at humans from an historical perspective of how we used to behave as hunter-gatherers.  She goes back to this point because she says that time/activity is how our bodies performed optimally and she says a lot (most) of our troubles today (such as osteoarthritis, pelvic floor issues, hyperkyphosis, etc)  are from poor alignment/lack of movement as we do not move as much or in the same way we used to because of modern convenience.

Side Note: This book fell on fertile ground in me.  Whispers of her ideas/concepts/suggestions/explanations have been coming to me over the past few years in listening to my body and paying attention to/choosing my exercise regimen.  And I believe in order for someone to take the advice of another (no matter how smart or educated the one delivering said advice may be) the one receiving the message must see some glimmer of truth in it all.  I see that truth in a lot of what Katy says.  It all makes so much sense to me!!  But if you have not experienced things as I have you might think this post is a bunch of silliness, and you are entitled to such, but I will write it anyhow.

Rather than try and summarize her entire book I will share some things that have been helping me and/or I found particularly interesting.

#1) According to Katy we do not move nearly enough in our average day.  

Even those of us who are avid exercisers, only exercise for an hour or two and then sit for much of the rest of the day.  She is particularly concerned with those who work "desk jobs" and sit basically all day.  We are made to move - so move it!

While my day as a stay-home, homeschooling mom does include more movement than a typical desk job, I can be guilty of parking in the easy chair and commanding the household from my "perch."  I am making an effort to NOT do this.

#2) Katy says walking is good for our bodies - and not just as exercise, but walking is good for all parts of our body and does great things like aid in digestion, etc.  

In her words from this book, "Walking, as basic as it seems, is an extremely complex phenomenon that can simultaneously involve all your muscles at once."

So I have been trying to add more walking into my day - and not just MY DAY, but into the days of my children, too - as even children need to walk.  No, not play sports or run around outside, they need to WALK!  (Granted, children can ALSO do those other things, but walking is important for little people just as it is for big people - accept no substitutes!)

Side Note: You probably do not walk "correctly" or at least could have your walking pattern, gait, etc, improved but I am no expert.  Katy goes into some basics in her book and more on her blog, but her saying is "You cannot do it wrong, but you can always do it better."  

#3) Katy is VERY AGAINST sitting in a typical "chair."  

Our bodies are not designed for this - it has been adopted by our culture - with the chair originating as something of a trophy for the very rich to afford.  Now we sit, I would argue, out of habit and/or because it is culturally expected.  There are chairs in the waiting room at the dentist's office, so if you do not sit in one you are considered a potential "threat" (why is that person not sitting??) or if you sit on the floor you are considered "unprofessional" (you would sit on the floor in public?!?!).  Instead of sitting in chairs, Katy suggests standing workstations and reclining on the floor.  She understands we all need to rest now and again and being on the floor allows our body to open up more and stretch.

I have been taking note of how much of my day I spend sitting in a chair and actively trying to find another position for those tasks - such as sitting on the floor to do school work with the kids and setting my laptop on a shelf to stand while I check my e-mail.  I also squat anytime I would typically bend down to pick something up.  I also squat to hang out with the kids or do simple tasks at floor level (like fold laundry).  Squatting opens up the hips, stretches the pelvic floor, and just overall helps keep the body in good working condition!

#4) Stretching is VERY important.  

And it all starts with the calf stretch.  Seriously, I think every one of her exercise DVDs begins with the calf stretch.  There are a ton of other stretches she recommends, but unfortunately she does not have them all in a neat little list, complete with pictures in such, although she does go through all of them in her book, amidst other information and anecdotes.

If I understand it correctly, stretching is what brings the blood to the muscles and gets rid of the waste.  While the heart does pump blood, it is the smooth muscle of the capillaries that gets it into all those cells.  And our typical "exercise" only uses certain muscles and often in a repetitive fashion.  While these muscles get stronger, those around them get weaker.  (Use it or lose it.)  So wee need to be stretching and moving in all the ways we can in order to keep the oxygen going to and the waste moving out of all our cells.

I am working on stretching more.  I'm not ready to give up my cardio exercise because although walking and stretching would probably make my body the healthiest it has ever been, I am too caught up in the worldly way of things to be happy with my extra weight right now.  While it would eventually fall away (I think! - or at least some of it) I do not have the patience for that!

Plus I would say I am mildly addicted to "serious" exercise.  But of all the addictions I could have, this one has some of the best benefits (losing weight, building muscle - albeit it only SOME muscle on those parts I am actually using, but still - and relieving stress) and the least adverse affects (potential for injury, my husband having to listen to me whine about missing my work-out, or go on and on about how amazing it was today).

#4.5) After having my most recent baby I concluded that Kegels were not doing it for my pelvic floor.  

I then stumbled upon Katy's DVD called "Down There For Women."  This video consisted of five stretches that I found MOST HELPFUL but it was not until I read this book that I realized the final component in pelvic floor health (for me at least - as Katy would surely argue that the whole body works as a whole and you cannot piece out any part of it, from the pelvic floor to the foot, it all goes together).  

Are you ready for this?  The final component to my pelvic floor health was/is sucking in my gut.  And I do not mean the kind of sucking in one would do to button a pair of pants that is a bit small, but the constant tightening of the abdominal muscles.  Yes, the very tightening that my physical therapist recommended I practice "all the time" because that is "what these muscles are designed to do."  Katy says the brain, specifically the unconscious brain, is very smart and your body will naturally respond as it needs to, far better than you can consciously try to clench certain muscles.  So, instead of tightening my core to lift my child I am just supposed to lift my child?!?!  What if I strain my back?  Well, then Katy would say you are not strong enough to lift your child in that fashion in the first place and by tightening your core you are taking the stress in other joints/ligaments that are not up to the task any more than your back and eventually you will feel the injury in them as well.

What does this mean for me?  Well, by relaxing my core muscles and letting them fire when they decide it is right to fire (rather than the constant flexing that creates muscle tension and inhibits some muscles from behaving as they should) I was able to take the final bit of strain off my pelvic floor, allowing it to behave as it should.  (I will save you the specifics but I imagine you understand what I am saying here.)

Funny side note: When I first read that I should not be flexing my core muscles all day my reaction was, "WHAT!!!  NO WAY!!"  Followed by a deep analysis of how smaller, tighter tummies is a cultural thing!  How vain of us!  And now that I have been relaxing those muscles and letting my belly "pooch" out I realize this better offsets getting my pelvis back in neutral (read: sticking my butt out as we are meant to).  Now I cannot imagine NOT doing this.  Unfortunately it means I might have to rethink a few of the tighter/shorter shirts in my wardrobe, but honestly, who am I trying to impress?  I have a husband and he loves me skinny or chunky, with my belly in or out.  Who have I been trying to impress?  Everyone else.  Everyone that looks at my choices in life (to be open to life and to homeschool my kids) and wants to tell me I am crazy.  I am secretly trying to impress them so they will at worst leave me alone and at best encourage me.

#5) Katy considers this way of looking at the whole body as a whole is one of alignment.  

She has a facebook group called "Aligned and Well."  By stretching and walking, standing, and squatting as we should we are able to keep our bodies in alignment.  Key to this alignment is good footwear.  Starting at the bottom, if we have positive heeled shoes (even just a little bit of a heel, like a quart of an inch) it throws off our alignment.

This is one of those things I TOTALLY GET!!  As I have been struggling with footwear for quite some time.  And finally I realize that bare feet is the best way to be!  And when one cannot be barefoot, minimalist shoes (like vibram five fingers) or at least zero-drop shoes (straight all the way across like this pair I have my eye on, the Kigo Flit - or the Kigo Drive which I currently have) are definitely the way to go, for me at least.  Now, this being said, I can walk fine in these shoes (and it took some work to get my foot muscles to wake up and respond appropriately in the vibram shoes) but I am not ready to run in them.  If you want a quite comprehensive list of "Katy's footwear suggestions," you can find it on her blog.

And I must say that going barefoot and wearing more minimalist shoes has improved my balance as I have woken up all those muscles and bones in my ankle again.  I could feel it as I ran yesterday - even though I was wearing stiff regular positive heel tennis shoes - when I turned a corner that would normally have thrown off my balance and caused me to teeter some, I was able to adjust in my ankle and keep the rest of my body moving as I desired.

The End. . . for now.

While there are many more tid-bits to be gleaned and ideas to process but here is what I have stewing right now.

My Latest Brilliance

We have just finished up our first round of mid-year dental appointments here.  Our dentist recently changed things up so we have to go in for our check-up and THEN schedule ANOTHER VISIT for the cleaning. I'm less than thrilled to say the least, but I digress. . . . Two of my children have showed some tooth decay (Samuel last year and now Jacob this year), so I realize it is time for me to "step up" the brushing.  In an attempt to do so, I have now started having the kids use an electric toothbrush.  I have one and I purchased a second so we can have two people brushing at a time and that is really about all that can comfortably fit at the sink anyhow.  In an attempt at cleanliness, I gave each child their own toothbrush head.  And in the beginning we kept them each in their own plastic baggie (labeled with their names in sharpie), on the bathroom counter.  That worked real well. . . ok, not really, but it was all I could think of!!  And then, last night I was at Wal-mart and kept my eyes open for something.  After much browsing in the "bathroom stuff" aisle I began to finally start to visualize what I was needed.  Then, as I was gathering a few office supplies, I stumbled upon this. . . 

No, it did not come with the labels.  I added those.

The drawers are perfect for holding tooth brush heads!  And some toothpaste and old toothbrushes (for traveling and Miriam still uses a plain hand-held toothbrush) on top!

7 Quick Takes

1) Miriam's latest words are "Help, me," but it sounds more like "Hap, me" and to say her name, "Meeeum!!" which she does quite forcefully if she thinks she is going to get left out of something her big brothers and sister are doing/getting.

2) So on two separate occasions I have now managed to put Zipporah's clothes on backwards.  And to make matters worse, the first time was with a cute little jumper that my mother-in-law had purchased.  I put Zipporah in it when Grandma came to visit, only for Grandma to arrive and say, "you have that on backwards. . . "  Yep, I totally failed at sucking up that day.  The second time a dear friend knitted a beautiful dress for her and I even took a picture of her in said dress (with it on backwards) only to realize as I put her in the dress for the second time last night, that I had put it on her backwards the last time.  I am definitely a failure when it comes to style apparently!

3) I stumbled upon a recipe for Banana Breakfast Cookies (that a good friend had posted the link to on facebook - I'm not sure if she reads my blog, but if so, thanks Alison!!) and it has definitely been a game changer around here.  I should add that I do change them up just a little - to our family's liking, but generally this is the recipe.  Normally we do cereal and "something more filling" (like peanut butter and jelly toast or breakfast bars) for breakfast.  These Banana Breakfast Cookies are like a bowl of oatmeal in cookie form. Brilliant!!  Less mess when eating and I can make up a quadruple batch (which I split between fridge and freezer) to last for a couple weeks.  They are insanely more handy than putting peanut butter and jelly on five pieces of toast!!

4) We are going to try something new for our schedule this year.  Instead of individual date nights with each of the kids (we tried to do one for each kid - other than Miriam and Zipporah - once a month) we are going to have "family night" every Thursday where we will do something together as a family.  I am pointing out ahead of time that this can be as simple as going out to dinner or watching a movie or just having a special dessert.  But I'm thinking more like a family hike or game night would be ideal.

5) Another schedule change is for Gordie and I to have a standing "date night" on Fridays.  As with "family night" I am saying from the beginning that this can be simple - maybe just watching some tv or making a special meal or treat or something.  But I really want to see this as a chance to focus on the two of us.  We just celebrated 10 years of marriage and the importance of this sacrament finally dawned on me.  (Yes, I can be a little slow sometimes.)  This is the foundation for our life together and if we are not building it up, then we are tearing it down.  

I think I am especially guilty of just glossing over our relationship to each other as I live and breathe my "job" as homemaker.  And doing Gordie's laundry and making his coffee are really only the "nuts and bolts" of what keep us going.  I want something to look forward to - a time I will try to step out of my regular routine (which is a struggle as I think part of my problem is that I am always in the same place - there is no "going" to work and coming "home."  I am always at work and at home, so "turning off the job" (which I love) is especially hard for me) and really see and hear and focus on just my husband and the joy we share as a couple.

6) I like to use soap foamers at our sinks for hand washing as my children like soap and I don't want to be wasteful.  So using the foamers allows me to use about a third the amount of soap per fill that we would use if I did straight soap.  Anyhow, the kids occasionally break the foamers (as they are kids and occasionally break almost EVERYTHING - they are DEFINITELY why I cannot have nice things).  So I recently got a new one for the bathroom upstairs and it is like a soap foamer with super powers.  It is way cool and really pumps out the foam like crazy with just one push.  So the new game for the kids is to duck down while they push it so it will foam over their hands and into their hair.  Why they find this so entertaining is beyond me, but hey, maybe I can skip a bath night because of it, right?  :)

7) I recently replaced my ring sling.  I had one from "Over the Shoulder Baby Holder" and it was AWESOME.  I had it for nine years and used it like crazy.  It is not my only carrier - I am also a big fan of the Ergo carrier and the moby wrap - but I find the sling handiest for breastfeeding and the quickest/easiest to put on for taking baby in and out of the car (as we do convertible carseats, rather than the "baby bucket").  So anyhow, since "Over the Shoulder Baby Holder" is now out of business (so sad), I found a sling from rockinbaby.com on a deals site (deals.com) for exactly what I was prepared to pay to replace my old sling (less than half of what they go for on the main website).  Thanks God!!

My buddy today (here in the Ergo carrier).   Apparently there is nothing better than being carried around by Mom.

A Recent Revelation

Lately I've noticed that I'm getting a little grumpy about things that did not used to make me "a little grumpy."  And being grumpy is making me grumpy and suddenly I'm VERY grumpy.  In the midst of this grumpiness I've suddenly realized I'm missing out on a lot of joy and a lot of fun that I used to be having. . .a lot of the time.  So what changed?  Well, a lot, or not much at all (depending on how you look at it), but here is my theory:

Somewhere along the way in the midst of getting married, having babies, etc I have gone from "barely surviving" to "figuring things out."  I have opinions on things now that I never imagined I would have opinions on before.  I now know not only that I CAN survive childbirth, but how to do it better.  I can not only live through a fussy baby, I often still manage to get sleep.  I cannot just cook edible food, now I cook food that I PREFER WHEN COMPARED TO MOST RESTAURANTS!  (That one is huge for me if you cannot tell.)  I now have ideas on what to do when I'm upset at my husband (and still treat him respectfully) and I even have some good ideas on what to do to "be especially nice" to him, as well.  I am far from an expert in any of these areas, but I guess I now have a little experience under my belt and a little confidence.  

And what does all this have to do with my personal joy or grumpiness?  Well, suddenly I believe I have started to expect too much from myself and my family.  Now I'm not saying we should not strive for perfection and be disciplined and deliberate in our actions, decisions, etc.  But suddenly I've noticed that my expectations might be a little too optimistic and thus, when I fall short of them I get GRUMPY!  Here is a real-life example for you.  I went to the grocery store yesterday and spent $13 more than I planned to spend.  The entire drive home I was beating myself up for what I had bought and for not paying better attention.  Obviously I am simple HORRIBLE at keeping a budget, even though I got over $20 from coupons, I obviously could have done that better.  And what had I bought this trip that was more in the "stocking up" category - what I could have lived without until my next trip to the store?  And I started to feel a little sick to my stomach and was thinking I might just never shop again.  Time to move out to the farm and raise all our own food.

Ok, time out.  $13 over is really NOT THAT BIG A DEAL!!  (I imagine all my SERIOUS coupon clippers are gasping at that, but in my life that is just how it is.)  I should be grateful it was not $50 or $100!  And for those stock-up items, who really knows when I'm going to get back to the store and if I will remember them when I get there?  I am actually quite sporadic on my store trips, and they often get pushed off for several days.  And having the right items in my cabinet is often the difference from being able to make a meal or spending more money to bring something in from a restaurant (not to mention usually sacrificing nutrition in the process).

Another example of my over-optimism would be in volunteering to take dinner to a friend yesterday.  We had soccer for Samuel and Jacob, followed by Aikido for Rebekah and Samuel and in the middle of the two I planned to drop off a meal for a friend in need.  And not only did I make a giant meal of meatballs, cheesey potatoes, peas, jigglers, and brownies, I ALSO made two calzones for my family (which required advance planning as I do the dough in the breadmaker and it takes 1.5 hrs).  My kitchen was trashed and we were 10 minutes late for soccer practice, but I managed to get it done.  But as I went about my chores of meal preparation I felt a hurriedness that bordered on panic and I lamented not being able to really enjoy these tasks (as I would have, given more time and better circumstances).  I could have even had the kids help and they would have LOVED IT.

In conclusion, what am I doing about all this?  I'm trying to be more realistic.  Somewhere along the way I bought into the idea (probably from pintrest) that EVERYTHING I do can and should be done PERFECTLY and not only that. . . it should have been done that way TWO DAYS AGO.  I can only do so much.  Although I am starting to do some things pretty well (in my humble opinion) taking that for granted it really sacrificing my joy lately.  So here is to being a little more flexible, not expecting perfection, not trying to do too much (haha), looking for the humor, and being thankful.

And if you have made it this far, here is an adorable picture of Miriam for you to enjoy.

Oh and did I mention I finally published a book I wrote about five years ago?  I wrote it on the suggestion of a few friends.  It is nothing earth shattering, or anything and it is knda short, but there are some good points!  I sent it to some "real" publishers back when I wrote it and although many of them sent me nice letters telling me my theology was sound and it was a "nice" book, it was not really "new author" material.  But anyone can publish on Amazon (for free), so. . . five years later, here ya go.  And if you really just cannot justify spending money on it, keep it saved and I think Amazon will let me offer it for free after a bit (during certain promotional periods).

Ok, one more picture of my "super hero" children :)

Summer Planning

I have about two hours worth of work that I "should" complete in the next 30 minutes in order for the rest of my day to run smoothly.  So what am I doing about it?  Procrastinating, of course!  If I cannot do it well. . . I just might not do it!!  (I guess I'm still trying to find the balance between demanding a high standard and cutting myself some slack.)  In any case, as I procrastinate here I will tell you about my latest inspiration. . .

As I mentioned in my journal a while back, we have some activities planned for the summer (probably more than we need, but that is the way it always goes).  In order to help keep our family (and myself specifically) "on track" I made up the following little chart.

It is not perfect, but maybe it will remind me that this summer I have specifically committed myself to being accountable for the following:

*Scriptural study and/or spiritual reading  (How can I love someone I am not continuing to learn about and/or do not converse with daily?!?)
*Practicing/improving my piano skills
*Practicing/improving my foreign language skills
*Exercise (I'm a bit fanatical about exercise - I keep a strict schedule that needs not be recorded here as it is always on my mind!! - this is to remind me to be more active in general, especially with the kids - more bike rides, walks, spontaneous games of soccer, etc)

And while I'm on the topic of "improvement/planning" I will share that I have also decided to commit to the following:

Weekly hour of adoration: Wednesdays at 5:30pm (I get to miss "dinner duty" AND spend quiet time with Jesus - and the hubby agreed to it!! :)

Monthly confession (specific day to be determined at the beginning of each month).

I'm not really sure what has prompted me to these new-year's-like resolutions, but I feel strongly about them so here I go, diving in!  Don't worry, I will let you know how it goes :)

And for the children:
It is difficult to not keep "homeschooling" in the summer as there is so much good stuff to do!!  I figure we will try to "keep up" by doing two "schoolish" thing per day (for example reading and one other thing, like a worksheet, journal, and/or an educational game).  Spanish is not included in the "schoolish" things as language really needs to be practiced daily I think and piano I really want to hit hard now while there is time with few other things.  And the weekly virtue should fit into our daily prayer time. . . just need to remember to do it!

So there ya go.  Now, to get my 2-hours-of-stuff done in the next 20 minutes - hehe :)

My Latest Inspiration for Reading Assistance

Samuel (my kindergartner) and I were reading his children's bible this morning.  As he learned some new words - just reading them several times, I realized that I could be doing more to improve his reading vocabulary.  A while back I labeled some items around the house (just notecards with words written on them in marker) and that helped some, but some of the labels have worn off and I just feel I should be doing more.  So, as he learned the word "snake" and "fruit" this morning, it dawned on me that I could make up little charts like those below to help him make the connection between these words and the objects they represent.

This is Paul's hand, pointing to our exciting new posters.

 I simply googled each item I wanted and chose the images tab.  Then I copied down these images (saved them to the computer) and put them in a drawing document.  I added the text, printed them in color, threw them in page protectors, and sticky-tacked them to the wall.  Viola!!  Now I can draw attention to them during meals and other times we are at the table.  I hope to make more, but this was all I had time for today.

What do you think?

Pondering the 40 hour work week

Disclaimer: this is a long-winded post -not for the faint of heart or easily bored. . .

Lately I have noticed that I am wearing "a little thin" on the edges.  I'm a little snappy, quicker to anger, slower to think, just flat-out tired.  Noticing was the first step, now I am working on fixing and it has dawned on me that I might need to rethink my schedule. (AGAIN I might add - as I am always trying to fix my schedule it seems! :)  But seriously, I think I am on to something here.  It seems like stay-home-moms are viewed as either not working at all or working INSANELY harder than anyone with a "regular job."  I don't really see it as either.  Some days it is easier than a "real job" and other days it is more difficult.  It probably evens out.  But the catch is the hours.  I begin "work" when the first child wakes up - technically that means I work almost nonstop insofar as the baby is concerned.  Granted there are a few times were she naps for an hour or two at a time, or someone else can give her a pacifier for a bit, but generally I am "on call" 24 hours, 7 days a week.  Now, the catch is that a baby is easy to care for (and so rewarding as holding a sleeping baby is so sweet) so I don't really consider taking care of the baby as "work."  However, taking care of the other children, although sometimes rewarding, is OFTEN exactly like (or more difficult than) work.  Now, the 2-year-old generally gets up at 7am (sometimes a little before) and does not go to bed until 7pm (and lately has been giving SO MUCH TROUBLE at bedtime that he really is not actually asleep until closer to 9pm).  That is a LONG DAY!!  7am to 6:30pm five days a week is. . a bit more than a 40 hour work week.

*Side note: I am considering a 40 hour work week the "typical" or "ideal" for the average worker - setting aside there are several professions where this is not an option due to the nature of the position, but I'm just giving a general idea here.

And it is EVERY DAY.  Weekends, Daddy is home but then we specifically do family things or he does projects and I do what I do all week - be in charge of the kids, cook, clean, run errands, etc. So unless I specifically take a break, there is not really one built in. Granted Daddy does get done with work around 6:30pm and often puts the kids to bed (and back to bed several times).  And there theoretically is a little time in the evening, but that is generally our "couple time" where Daddy and I spend time doing things together.  And I think this is important for our marriage and it is enjoyable, but it is not quite enough.  It is not really a break, just a change (well, and less work - Gordie does not make nearly as big a mess as the two-year-old :)

Now, there are times during the day when the kids are "mostly occupied" so I can do things like read a little (if I can handle being interrupted every 2 minutes or so :) or check facebook or write a letter or pay a bill, etc.  But the catch is that I'm ALWAYS ON, even when I'm not specifically playing with or doing things for the kids.  Even now as I try to collect my thoughts here I have been interrupted an average of every minute or two (and let me tell you it is wrecking havoc on my thought process - I hope this makes some sense when I'm done).  So what I'm trying to say is that I don't really get coffee or smoke breaks - if that makes sense.  I don't really get a true break until every child is in bed (or in the 2-year-old's case, asleep), unless I leave the house for some reason or another in the evening and leave the kids with Daddy.    This is basically my point.  I'm not writing this for pity or to awe you with my "amazingness." (although you are more than welcome to think I am amazing :)  What I am trying to say in many more words than necessary is that I NEED A BREAK SOMETIMES!!!  There I said it.  I love my job.  I love my kids.  I love my life.  But sometimes I NEED A BREAK!!  I need to leave the "chatterboxes" and go somewhere and soak up some quiet.  I need to eat a meal I don't have to cook or clean up after.  This really hit home as I left the house to take dinner to a friend a few days ago.  It was a 15 to 20 minute drive to her house.  Now, I took my oldest child and the baby.  The baby was sleeping and the oldest child was blessedly quiet, or maybe she was just not asking any difficult questions at the moment.  Honestly I cannot quite remember, but I do remember how I FELT.  I had some music on and I just sat there and enjoyed it as we drove.  It felt wonderful - like soaking up sunshine on the beach.  It was only at that moment I realized how much I NEEDED this break.  I know I need adult conversation regularly (as does my husband - haha) so I often meet with other adults (often stay-home-moms) during the day, but this was more than just adult conversation.  This was uninterrupted quiet - well there was music, so perhaps it would be more precise to say it was uninterrupted pleasure - something I have trouble getting during the day.

Now, if you have actually read up to this point, you are probably thinking, "well, this certainly is not earth shattering.  Many poeple have come to this conclusion before."  And of course you are right.  Although this was my "ah ha" moment where it really hit home, that is not my main point for bringing this up.  My point is that now I have a plan. . . and I'm curious what you think of it.  Or if you have already come to these conclusions and have a plan of your own to share.  Ideally I would take time to actually leave the kids, but this would require outside help for babysitting.  Although Daddy does give me some time away, he works all week and needs some down time as well, plus he has projects and friends and other commitments.  So a sporadic day or evening out and away while Daddy keeps watch is a necessity, but unfortunately, in my case those have been too few and far between (and with Daddy's new crazy work requirements it could be a LONG WHILE before things "settle" and he is able to relax a bit and spend more time with the kids, simultaneously freeing me up). 

So here is my plan. . . one day a week I take an "easy day."  I'm still plotting how this will all shape up, but I want to see it as at best, a less stressful day where my "regular duties" are decreased or avoided as much as possible.  I want to take a day where all we eat is left-overs or sandwiches or whatever does not require effort. I suppose we could get dressed, but I want to have no "to do list" or appointments or errands to run on this day.  I want to have no activities planned for the kids (well, maybe a playdate if I want to get some "adult conversation").  I want to do no laundry, do no cleaning (unless, of course, I feel like it and that is another post entirely - taking pleasure in simple chores).  I want to get up and goof off as best I am able.  And most importantly - I want to do all this and NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT!!  I basically just want to set my expectations a little lower and have a "chill" day because we all need a break once in a while.  So, what do you think?  Or do you do this already?

He said to them, "Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while."  For many were coming and going and they had no leisure even to eat."  (Mark 6:31)

I surrender

I just thought I'd share what has been going through my head today as I try to offer up my struggles. . . "I surrender." I've said it a million times. I've probably sang it many more than that. I've used this word for YEARS but suddenly it just means so much more to me and I'm not sure why, but I'm glad. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm still trying to do things my way and do the things I think are important, but I've just tried today to stay a little more focused and every time I have gotten frustrated I pull myself back (mentally) and think, "God, I surrender this. What do you want here?"

So, this is me sharing. How about you? What has been your watch-phrase lately?

My latest inspiration

Paul is beginning the stage of using a baby gym. He is just starting to reach up and grab toys haning in front of him and kick his legs at them. Unfortunately our baby gym is beginning to show its age. And those things are so cheaply made anyhow. Instead I have come up with a brilliant plan, using toys and items WE ALREAY HAVE!! I just took a couple of bungee cords and put them across the top of the playpen, snapped on some learning links, and hooked up a few of his favorite toys. Paul LOVES it and I love that I get playpen and baby gym all-in-one (can't have the baby taking over all the living space with his toys and contraptions). Here he is enjoying the new set-up.