Ordinarily I would have a huge happy post about welcoming the new baby (Zipporah Marie) to the family right now. And let me tell you, it is killing me to not have such a post, but I'm making myself wait as I want to share her birth story and I am anticipating some wonderful pictures to accompany it. This time I was blessed to have a birth photographer and if you were ever on the fence over such a thing, let me just say I will TREASURE these pictures, I am sure (from what I have gotten to glimpse so far, anyhow). Now, would I/if I could have, had one for each of my sixth births? . . . I'm not sure. But at this point in my life, it is SO COOL to see pictures of the birth as by the time the photographer got there and started taking pictures I was "in the zone" trying to survive all the insanity going on in my body and I have always wondered what it looked like from the outside. My husband assured me it was "gross" and I did not want to see it, but that is why women give birth and not men I think. Or perhaps seeing the pictures simply reminds me of the entire event as a whole - which is absolutely incredible- perhaps the most important event I get to participate in my whole life! (With the exception of the Sacrifice of the Eucharist at Mass, of course :)
Anyhow, as usually happens to me, post-birth, I have been doing some reflecting over the past few days. Pregnancy and childbirth are such amazing occasions in a woman's life. I know birth always gives me a spectacular high that lasts several days (about a week this time) before I am just flat-out exhausted and then comes the hormonal insanity, but really there is such a beauty to it. I am always floored by how much I can love another creature - this little baby - so fiercely and completely. But more than just this new profound, anticipated, but still seemingly unexpected love for my baby, I feel almost as though the blinders come off my heart for a bit during this "recovery period" and I "feel" love for everyone more profoundly. Suddenly I am writing thank you notes that make people cry and I am GERMAN - I DON'T CRY or have anything to do with crying!! Every decision becomes life-shattering and I feel completely caught up trying to absorb every minute.
I took Zipporah to daily Mass last Thursday and it really was a Mass of Thanksgiving for me. Thanksgiving for her arrival and her perfection. Thanksgiving for God blessing me with such a wonderful family. I had to go to adoration afterward because I just could not get enough. In the midst of my thankfulness, I remember my friends who long for children and mourn for them and then I think of all those children aborted and mourn for them and their poor, lost parents. How I wish they could experience my seemingly infinite thankfulness.
And now it is time to rest and as much as I want to continue pondering. . . I really need to "pull the plug" here, so to speak, and get some rest. My apologies for being "all over the place" but in my defense, I did call it reflections and ramblings and there has been a lot of both of those, for sure!
Be sure to keep your eyes out for that birth post as it is coming soon.
Blessings!
