Sick again. . . Inside Mary's mind

I am not feeling well today.  As I was laying here, not enduring my discomfort very well, I first came to the conclusion that this MUST be the fault of my doctor.  Her diagnoses are simply too painful (pregnancy/childbirth, infections, the flu) so I simply need to find another doctor that will diagnose me with less painful things like. . . a small scratch or mild bump on the head.  I really think I could handle those better.  Any doctor recommendations for me?

My second thought as I lie here, composing the "letting go" e-mail to my doctor in my head, I realized that what I really needed was simply for Gordie to take me out back and "put me down."  Unfortunately, before I got far down that train of thinking, I realized that he simply does not make enough money to properly replace me - not with the schooling of the olders, the "daycare" for the youngers, and of course the lactating for the baby, not to mention the cooking and the cleaning and keeping of the finances and such.  He would need to make about as much as the president and I do not see him taking that job anytime soon. . .

Thus, I am apparently stuck with my plight.  Prayers for me (and so none of the other kiddos get sick) can be left with Jesus and Mary and Joseph and any other saint that comes to mind - heck, any other deity would be fine - I am not picky at this point!!!

Thanks for listening to my ramblings.  I do hope they made you laugh - I think they may do so for me. . . one day when laughing does not cause coughing - ouch!  If you are nearby friend, please avoid my house for a bit as I REALLY do not wish this on anyone!

Fear not I will keep you posted as things improve. .  possibly even if they do not! (consider yourself warned!!)

Sincerely,
Mary Elizabeth
(Romans 5:5)

Reflecting on the Blessing of being Sick

Yes, you read that title correctly.  I am beginning to see sickness as a blessing.  Up until this afternoon, the only blessing I could glean from being sick was knowing we had survived "whatever happened to be going around right now" again so we we were "good to go" until the next "wave" of yuckiness came about (usually 6-9 months, depending on the time of year).

Here in our household we survived the stomach-unhappy-stuff (coming out either way - sometimes both at once - yikes!) about a week and a half ago (give or take a few days as it ran its course through the family and that took a few days).  Then I got sick again - really sick.  I gave it a few days, I thought I was getting better.  Then I finally conceded to go to the doc.  Then I took medicine.  And although I'm still not feeling all that great (partly due to the wacky side-effects from the medicine - dizziness, really?  For a mom  that goes up and down the stairs 50 times a day?  I am so lucky to not have a  broken leg right now.) I have finally "given in" and embraced what I consider my "lesson," and hopefully changed  my attitude a bit.

My initial response to being sick was of course to be grumpy.  I was grumpy that I had to be sick again.  I was grumpy that I had to be in so much agony.  And I was grumpy that I had to change my plans.  Then I was grumpy that I was falling so far behind.

Since I had so much time to "ponder" while being miserable, God pointed out that my grumpiness was mostly being caused by two things:

1) Pride - that no one else could possibly replace me or do the things I do "good enough."

2) Fear - that we would fall WAY behind in school and housekeeping (hey, it's not like I'm a pro at this homeschooling thing as it is) and/or that this will last forever (which is possible, but of course, unlikely).

You might think I could add that not feeling well could also cause me to be grumpy and I will concede this to a point, but I was not/am not in THAT MUCH physical discomfort.  I might have been playing this card a little, but I was definitely being a bit of a baby while I did so.

Now I am trying to "undo" all the damage I have done by letting my temper and impatience get the best of me during this time to trial.  (If you could hear my sweet daughter YELL at her brothers at the drop of a hat - all because she has heard me do it for the past week, oh, it is not pretty.  Who knew I could be so cruel?)

And I am thanking God for this opportunity to see another example of just how imperfect I really am (yes, I might need to occasionally be reminded) and how much I need Him.

"To open their eyes so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me." (Acts 26:18)