Adventures in Motherhood

She looks so innocent, right? 

I now have five children, the oldest being seven-years-old. One would think that I might finally know what I am doing. But the following story would prove how new babies humble even those that might be considered “experienced.”

I needed to run a VERY important errand to the bank. I took the baby who had been sleeping since just before lunch. (It was now about 2pm.) I woke the baby as I changed her diaper, but I figured she would be waking up soon to eat anyhow, so I would nurse her at the bank. We got to the bank and I had to wait. I waited on one of those nice comfortable couches – all by myself. It would have been a GREAT time to nurse the baby. But the baby was sleeping. I got waited on and left alone again. Another EXCELLENT time to nurse the baby came and went with baby sleeping. I finished up at the bank and SHOULD have gone home as I knew the baby would be wanting to eat soon, but we were down to half a gallon of milk at home. We often have up to 5 gallons of milk in the fridge (as we drink a lot of milk). A half gallon MIGHT make us through dinner, but would probably run out before cereal in the morning. So Miriam and I headed to the grocery store. I needed to use the restroom, so after putting on the moby wrap and inserting Miriam, I headed to the Ladies' room. I was prepared to nurse her as I shopped. It was after 3pm at this point and she had not nursed since before lunch. In fact, in the Ladies' room I attempted to get her “situated” to nurse while I shopped. I was proud of myself for doing so, however, Miriam was barely awake and not really that interested. Fine. I readjusted her and my clothing again and left the bathroom. Then I realized I did not tie the moby tight enough (as I'm out of practice with it) and Miriam was seriously sagging. So I laid her on a blanket in the cart and readjust the moby tighter. I put her back in, but now she was awake. Uh oh. We made it over to get some bread and she started to fuss. I tried to calm her. Oh no, NOW she wanted to nurse. Unfortunately, cinching the moby up tighter made it fairly difficult to nurse in it now. Miriam got louder. Really child? You are the quietest, calmest baby I have had so far and you are throwing a fit in the middle of the grocery store? Sigh. I take off the moby, throw a blanket over my shoulder and nurse the baby. I continue my shopping, smiling and being friendly and praying no one tries to peak under my blanket – as seeing a “fresh” baby is a treasure for many, but would come a price this time. About half way through my shopping my arm starts to cramp. I am out of practice at nursing with no carrier and walking around. Then I realize she has fallen asleep so I readjust her again to a burp rag on my shoulder and spend the next 6 years trying to re-snap my nursing bra with one hand. I am WAY out of practice on that apparently. Finally I am readjusted AGAIN, but having one hand on a baby severely limits my shopping speed. I ponder this as I one-hand four gallons of milk into my cart. Even readjusting the groceries so the bread is not squished and the eggs are safe, is such a tedious task. Finally we make it to the checkout. I pick a busy one to give myself time to get the groceries up, one by one. Now, out to the car, but first I less than gracefully try to throw a blanket over Miriam to shield her from the bright sun. Her arching as I hit the sunlight tells me my attempt was futile as the blanket bunched and did not make it over her head. I get her to the cart and start the car to cool it down. After the third trip of putting the groceries in I finally realize cars cool down faster when you actually turn the air conditioner on, not just the engine. Sigh again. When I have about two bags of groceries left, the cart gets a mind of its own, slides into the front of the our van, falls off the curb and almost into the van sitting beside us. For the record, this has NEVER happened to me before, even on the windiest of days. Only TODAY. As I get in the car I realize it is almost 4:30pm. A grocery store trip that would normally take between 20 and 30 minutes has just taken over an hour. Yep, I am definitely out of practice living life with a newborn.

Whiney Wednesday

I am a positive person, but.  . . I am still participating in Whiney Wednesday.  That's just how it is today.

1) Having Daddy work at home means the kids have to be QUIET.  Kids are not meant to be quiet all the time.  They are just not and NO AMOUNT of gentle reminders or deadly threatening is going to make them behave as such.  They are just not wired that way and it is driving me NUTS to try and keep them quiet.  Is it not enough that we just expanded our family and I am adapting to an extra child to care for and less sleep?  Oh no, that is not enough challenge.  God says, on top of that, lets see if you can not only care for them but keep them from being crazy ALL DAY LONG.  Let's make you get out of the house (even though you are a homebody and want nothing more than to cook and clean AT HOME all day) because the kids need time to blow off steam.  At least today is his day off.  We are being VERY LOUD!!  :)

2) I'm still wearing support hose for those varicose veins.  It is summer.  You get the picture.  Also, tacked onto this, I have this weird itching problem at night.  I have not changed my laundry soap in years, or my diet, so my only guess is that wearing wearing the hose all day (compressing my skin) and then taking them off at night (letting that skin stretch back out) is causing this discomfort.  I try to lather on lotion and it helps a little, but this "annoyance" is really getting old.  Plus if I'm not thinking and actually scratch then it is 500x worse as I just aggravated the problem and have to really FOCUS on not responding to the even-stronger-urge to scratch.

3)  Daddy's work schedule is INSANE right now.  He got moved to salary which is neither here nor there, but it means they can do whatever they want with him.  Ten hour days?  Yep.  Split shift?  Yep.  Different from one day to the next, not knowing the schedule for more than a few days at a time?  Yep.  A while back I let him travel to train at a couple different call centers for several weeks at a time.  One was in Florida and one in Pennsylvania.  The most difficult part was putting the kids to bed alone.  At that time I only had three - maybe one on the way - and I remember thinking "this is not acceptable!  I cannot put all these children to bed on my own  Everyone is just too needy at bedtime.  Gordie is not allowed to travel anymore or work evenings as I NEED his help at bedtime.  Well, guess who is now occasionally working evening shift through bedtime?  Yeah, and I have FIVE kids now.  Some nights it is not so bad, but often the baby is screaming, the other kids running are around half clothed, goofing off, causing chaos, stressing me out!!  Supposedly his schedule is supposed to "become more stable" and more "livable" (aka predictable daytime hours during weekdays) in a couple months.  Let us pray.

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Thankfulness

A lot has been happening in our family life right now.  A lot that is STRESSING ME OUT!!  A lot of "really God?  really?!?!" moments for me.  I started a "whiney Wednesday" post (a few days early) but as I listed my "whines." I realized I had a lot to be thankful for.  So I'm going to make a Thankful List here to remind myself of all the good things God is doing and continues to do for us.

Although this is not really Miriam's CUTEST picture.  I actually think I see a little of me in her face in this picture.  It makes me happy.  Thus, I am putting it here.

Thankfulness List

1) I just had a baby and I feel GREAT.  Seriously, I remember feeling good for a few days post-birth (while the hormones are still raging) with most of my kids, but then after those first two or three days, not so much.  But this time, wow!  I am really floored.  I am ALMOST tempted to add some more physical activity, but I started that too early with my last babe and then it took EXTRA LONG to recover.  Still the housework and running after the kids is really a low-impact work-out most days as it is!  :)

2) Miriam is a fairly easy baby (so far).  She eats ok, she sleeps ok (as long as tucked in near a person -but I've come to expect this from babies, so it really does not bother me to keep her close while she naps).  I think maybe she likes me :)  I am way pumped to start "wearing" her more in my Moby Wrap.  But every time I think, "now would be a good time to put on the moby and wear Miriam," she falls asleep waiting for me!  Such a sense of humor this child has :)

3) I feel like I should be freaking out to have so many children, so young, but it is really not a big deal for me.  (Must be those happy "mothering hormones" I have flowing through me right now :)  We went to the museum today and I was very calm.  Other than Paul pushing the panic button on the van keys (that he ninja'd from the stroller when I was not looking) from the Discovery Room (3rd floor up - but has a window over the parking lot) and having to make a speedy exit to try and tame the noise, it was an enjoyable adventure.

4) Gordie seems to REALLY like his new position at work.  He is a trainer.  And the people he trains generally have good stuff to say about him.  I think he might have found something he actually enjoys!  (A real answer to prayer as he has never been all that crazy about his jobs before- they paid the bills, that was all.)

5) I have actually gotten some of my ever-growing "to do" list done.  I figured I would be barely surviving at this point, but with Miriam being so affable I am kinda thrown in flux here.  I keep expecting to not be able to get anything done and then find myself sitting around kinda bored.  So this afternoon I actually tried to be productive and wow, it worked!

6) Our air conditioner broke yesterday.  It was nothing too major, but it was a little overwhelming.  I put something on facebook out of sheer desperation (for pity more than anything else - as this was definitely one of those "really God?!?  really?!?!" moments).  No more than 3 minutes past from posting and I get a call that one of my friend's husband could help us out.  Today he and Gordie did a little work on it and so far it has been working fine since.  This definitely turned into a "WOW!  God really DOES answer prayers sometimes" kind of moment :)

(I know, I know, He ALWAYS answers prayers - we just sometimes know not what we ask for, but I have a poor memory when it comes to how good God is - all the time :)

"O give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures for ever."  - Psalm 107:1

A party and a revelation for me

Paul's birthday was last week, but I strategically planned his party for this weekend thinking I would be a little recovered from having our latest baby.  I had HOPED to have a bit more time to recover, but I survived and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves so I'm going to consider it a win.  I did not get a lot of pictures as I often take lots of pictures and most of them are not very good, plus, I seem to have pictures in excess these days, or maybe I'm just moody and did not want to take pictures today.  Whatever, I only have a few to capture these memories, but they are cute and they make me happy, so here there are.

Paul LOVED this toy.  He was entirely too excited about the balls in my opinion.  I know, kids love balls, but I cringe at the thought of them as we are constantly loosing them and finding them and the chaos of it all drives my obsessive-compulsive nature a little crazy.  But anyhow, I love his serious face as he showed me his balls.

Here he is again, showing me.  Notice how serious this is.  HERE is THE BALL.

So, here is his cake and this is where the revelation comes in.  I have traditionally started making a slightly more healthy cake for the birthday parties I have at home.  I am always trying to choose more healthy options and get my kids accustomed to good healthy foods.  Traditional birthday cake is really not healthy - not even carrot cake.  Sorry to burst your bubble, but it is the truth.  So I make this recipe I found called nutri-cake.  It is pretty healthy.  It has whole grains, protein, and fruit.  It is also pretty yummy and the kids like it a lot.  Now, I have recipes for frosting ("healthy frosting" made from melted raisins, and the "regular kind" made from powdered sugar) but I have never had much success making frosting.  I don't have the patience for it I think - or just have never quite gotten the ingredient ratio quite right.  I can get it to taste good, but then it will be too runny, or I can get it to be a good consistency and taste horrible.  In any case, I know my limits and to top my nutri-cake, I used store-bought frosting and I'm ok with that.  This is the beginning of the revelation.  (On a side note, I should add that the cake tastes great WITHOUT frosting, but half the fun of a birthday is frosting - at least for me, because I LIKE TO EAT FROSTING!!  But we often make this cake and eat it "as a snack" without the frosting - and no one complains :) The next part has to do with the picture.  It is supposed to be a train.  could you tell that before you read this?  Maybe.  Paul likes trains.  So I put a train on it because I like Paul.  It is that simple. 

So, the revelation part: I am good at a lot of things.  But some things I am just not good at and that is ok.  I am not an artist.  No one wants me on their team for pictionary.  Now, there are a lot of blogs out there and the people on them seem to be good at EVERYTHING.  Seriously, some of the blogs I follow, I honestly wonder if these women leave golden nuggets in their toilets instead of the regular human waste.  Everything they try to do turns out BEAUTIFUL!  Well, that does not happen here at our house and you know what?  I'm ok with that.  My cake is not perfect.  My train looks like I let my 2-year-old draw it (probably my 6-year-old could have done a better job) but I'm ok with that.  Coming from a slightly obsessive-compulsive-wanna-be-perfectionist, you have no idea how freeing it is to admit this to myself.  My cake is not PERFECT, but it is acceptable and it is yummy and it is even a little bit good for you!  Kinda like me.  Thanks, Paul, for having a birthday so I could figure this out :)

Sibling Love

Samuel holding Miriam

A few days ago, Samuel says, "Mom, I like having a baby sister." That pretty-much sums it up.  I love these kids!

Miriam update, not quite a week old

So Miriam is a perfectly proportioned baby (according to the doctor anyhow) being in the 75th percentile for height, weight, and head size.  She also has a WONDERFUL temperament.  She is calm, sleeps well, eats well, and is all-around cute!  (As are most babies -even the fussy ones that often, make me laugh by their grumpy faces - cue Samuel here, the grumpiest baby for the first few months.)  She is truly a blessing as fitting her into our "routine" is really no trouble.  I'm struggling to make myself rest (as I know I need it) but once I get somewhat recovered I see us having an amazing summer.  The other kids have nothing but love for her and have been quite helpful!  It's like living a very good dream.  (On a side note, with lots of changes happening right now: Daddy's work schedule shifting with his new job (same company) and the beginnings of our garage building adventure, I cannot be thankful enough for an "uneventful" addition of our newest.  God can be  merciful after all :)


Baby Feet :)



Rebekah, Samuel, and Jacob meeting their new sister.

It's a baby!  :)

Playing computer games with Daddy.  All the kids loved this as babies.

Thumb sucker? She would be our first, but this is probably a fluke.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Paul!

Paul now has to share his birthday (May 17) with his younger sister.  We realize this will "scar him for life" but we figured, if you are going to mess your kids up, you might as well pick something good, right?  :)

In any case, lets talk about Paul.

- His  favorite thing to point out is a train or train track.  We hear lots of trains at our house, although we cannot actually see the tracks.  He often calls out train or train track at random times and I must answer that "no, there is no train or train track" several times before he will let the possibility go.

- Paul has recently discovered he can make "conversation" and often does so quite forcefully until someone responds to him.  If he is telling you something, he will get louder and louder with his word (or words) until you acknowledge him in some way.

- His vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds.  Some of his favorite words (aside  from train or train track) are "coppeee" (coffee- ask Daddy how he learned this one :), cheese, cracker, cookie, drink, "nack" (snack),  bear, snake, baby, "Abeka" (Rebekah), "Jajup" (Jacob), and of course DADDY!!

- Paul is a very climby kid.  Seriously, he can climb up pretty-much anywhere the "big kids" can.  And he loves to climb up somewhere and then jump off. Fortunately he has not hurt himself yet, but I imagine it is only a matter of time.

- He likes to put on other people's shoes (like Rebekah's or Daddy's) and clomp around.  He would probably be happy to put his own on, too, but bigger ones are a little easier right now.

- Paul continues to be cute as all get-out and I just want to "eat him up"-especially those blonde curls :)
















I love you my sweet little boy!  May God continue to form you into a caring and thoughtful little man!

Welcome Miriam Dolores!

Miriam Dolores finally decided to show up (not without some "medical suggestion" I must add) on May 17, 2012 at 4:10pm.  She crawled out at 8lbs 8oz and 20.5inches long.  Not tiny by any means, but at least not HUGE.  I don't really have too much to say about her labor.  I was quite disappointed to have to be induced again.  It took a considerable amount of time to get the pitocin to make any decent contractions (about 5 hours of "waiting").  Fortunately, I had just started these slippers for my oldest daughter, Rebekah.  And when I say "just" I mean I really had cast on the beginning stitches the night before.  Look how far I got!  I was beginning to wonder if I would be able to finish them before the baby was born!

Although I was proud of myself for handling most of the contractions well, I did get a little crazy at the end.  I think I might have scared my doctor, the nurses, my husband, and possibly anyone within earshot, but it worked for me as I had hit the "fight or flight" point of pain and since I could not run I took to some "Jane of the jungle" screaming which quite effectively cut off any advice, tips, requests etc from my nurses, doctor or anyone else. But it made the pain survivable, so even though the bed did not quite get broken down before the baby started coming, in the midst of pushing they did at least get me where I needed to be (although I didn ot make it easy on them!) to allow Miriam to make a smooth exit.  I had my eyes closed and attention on feeling this baby "pop out" so I missed most of the "chaos" I caused.  But I suppose every doctor needs one like me to keep them on their toes :)

Here she is sporting the hat I knit for her.  It is a touch large at this time, but I could not resist a photo-op with it :)

 Nana (my mom) and my oldest daughter, Rebekah were our first visitors.  Miriam seemed to approve of them.  The rest of the family will most likely meet her tomorrow.

Small Successes

It has been a whiney day for me (or perhaps a whiney last couple of weeks!)  Then, I stumbled upon my friend, Monica's post about small successes and realized that focusing on the positive might help some.  So, here ya go. . .

1)  I believe I have "calmed down" significantly lately, as the past couple weeks I was getting "overly agitated" with mild pregnancy annoyances and such.  I am much calmer and at peace with things now.

2) I am proud of myself for listening to my body and adapting my schedule and priorities to suite (aka lots less physical activity and more times for rest).  This may sound silly, but for someone "addicted" to getting my daily exercise, it has been a challenge.  I especially feel guilty taking the car to pick up the boys from school on such nice days (when it is about 5 blocks to walk), but it is what it is.  That walk now is long and hot and I often feel miserable afterward - not up to cooking lunch or "tidying up" so I take the car and am able to do the rest of my afternoon chores.

3) I have made SIGNIFICANT strides in my homeschool preparation (as if I really know what to prepare for :)  And the end is definitely in sight.  In fact, I could easily start with the planning and prep work I have done so far (as I'm sure I will change my mind about some things anyhow, so doing too much now is silly anyhow - as it could end up being a waste of my time).  We are set to start in June with a "light schedule" - just to get the kids introduced to the concept of what I have in mind.  I think it will nicely compliment the summer activities we are signed up for (Tumbling class, Kids Yoga, swimming) by giving the kids something to "think about" and a chance to "rest" each day with our "book work" and activities.

4) I'm not sure if this is a success, but I am IN LOVE with these new knitting needles I got.  Seriously, they make me want to knit like crazy!!  Unfortunately, this silly baby hat is a challenge and a half as I have never knit in the round before, but just picking up the needles and messing with the soft yarn makes me happy - even if I never finish it and/or it ends up looking frightful (most likely :)

5) I have been really trying to begin my day with a short early morning prayer time (not easy when just getting the kids up in time for school is a challenge) and I like to think it is helping me focus more - and it does a good job of whetting my appetite for more prayer throughout the day.

6) I have done a pretty good job of keeping up with the mail lately.  I think it might be a little nesting instinct helping, but I'll take what I can get if it keeps the clutter away!

To join in the small success fun, check out Catholic Mom.

Baby Baby Baby

So I don't mean to run the world over with thoughts of pregnancy, childbirth, and of course, BABIES!  But I have four minutes to wait while my external hard drive moves my clip art onto this computer so I can finish making my Girl Scout Certificates for our final meeting this evening and I figure I might as well pop over here and share my thoughts for today, as that is generally what blogs are for, right?

Anyhow, I visited my doctor again today (wouldn't want her to miss me, you know :) and I am still in shock over what she said.  When I asked her last week  about potential times and dates to induce, there was some mis-communication going on.  I was speaking about this week (my 39th) and she thought I was referring to the current week (my 38th).  Apparently current OB doctoring law says no voluntary inductions before 39 weeks and I am all for that - don't get me wrong.  I was asking about being induced two days before 40 weeks (but she thought I was asking about 2 days before 39 weeks).  So anyhow, there was the confusion.  So today when we sat back a minute to "talk" and she says, anytime this week is fine if you really want this baby out, I about died of shock.  I have been SOOO READY to be done and now all of a sudden, I could be - AS EARLY AS THIS EVENING!!  Good thing I was sitting down!  The funny thing is that now that "the time" is finally here, I have this odd patient feeling and actually ended up leaving the hospital planning to return again in a week - unless, of course a miracle happens (hint hint, God) and my body decides to kick this baby out on its own.

So,why did I decide to wait another week and a half?  I'm not 100% sure, but it just feels like "the right thing to do" at this time.  Maybe I got a little scared thinking about labor (especially induced labor - with those mean pitocin contractions. . . /shudder) and maybe I have been looking at my schedule too much and I do have a lot planned this week - my last MOMS club coffee shop visit until August, my Parents As Teachers visit, a pedicure (who can give birth without one of those?!? :) with my daughter.  Yeah, I guess I can keep busy and let the baby cook another week.  Just, please Baby Girl, don't be 11lbs like your brother Jacob.  Anything under 10lbs would be golden - really.

Oh and for all those praying for me, thank you.  I imagine that is where the peace in all this is coming from.  (Well, that and getting very little sleep the past couple nights - exhaustion makes me a little calmer.  That's why I'm such a good mom.  I am greatly subdued in my usual sleep-deprived-stupor:)  Hopefully I can rest up, finish up these last few things, and then some time next week, ready or not, she will have to come and we will start our new adventure as a family of seven.

Pregnancy update #2 for Baby #5 and some rambling

I am a big fan of pictures.  I like to take pictures.  I like to look at pictures.  I like pictures!!  I think I have "bloggers' block" because I just cannot seem to imagine blogging without pictures!!  But for many reasons I am not able to have pictures at this time, such as:

1) I have no current prego pictures of me and do not feel like trying to take any at the moment.
2) Although I am aware of the location of the camera and the camera cord, I have no desire to get up and gather them and make it back to the computer.  (By that time I would loose interest in blogging. Trust me, this happens ALL THE TIME.)  So all those "cute" pictures I have taken recently of who or whatever are still not accessible at this time.
3) Even if I did manage to get all those amazing pictures off the camera, onto the computer, I would surely get distracted by organizing them, ordering prints for them, and/or I would find pictures from that last event I MEANT to blog about and get myself back in a I'm-so-far-behind-I-might-as-well-not-blog-anymore-funk.

So, to summarize, I have no pictures to go with this post.  Now, on to the actual post.

I am 39 weeks pregnant today.  After some discussion with my doctor at my last visit, I am trying to prepare myself for going AT LEAST a week over and then of course, to being induced again (ugh).  Don't get me wrong, I am optimistic (or was - as I was having quite a few contractions - off and on - for several hours at a time - and I was just SURE things were happening, but then I got checked to discover. . . .nothing is happening) and would really LIKE to have this baby soon and go into labor on my own, but for whatever reason my body just does not seem to get things figured out and my babies tend to be HUGE so I can't wait for my body to "get things figured out."

In any case, that is where we are at now.  I have whined to anyone and everyone who would listen.  I am pretty miserable.  Mostly it is the varicose veins that have been doing me in as all my support hose are all getting runs (not to mention they are hot!) and even with the hose, my body does not like being vertical (or even sitting) for very long.  I have been "couch camping" as much as possible lately.  For some reason being physically troubled makes me mentally off my game as well.

After a few "attempted resting" days I am feeling "a little" better and that is certainly helping my sanity lately.  But I certainly miss exercising and doing more than just "surviving" each day.

The one perk to all this sitting is that I've had more time to sit around and "goof off" (aka do things just for pleasure) but I am out of practice on taking time to myself.  Plus, often my house and children "taunt me" as I just want to get up and cook and clean and play with them, but I just CAN'T so not only do I feel bad, but I feel bad that I can't do what I want.  So not cool.  But the end is near and I am trying to stay focused, as maybe the baby really does just need a little more time to"mature."  Plus, in the grand span, what is two or three more weeks?  Oh and I still have that "to do" list that needs to be FINISHED, of course, before the babe comes.  Some of it has been done, but I keep adding to it.

Here is the current version:

1) Homeschool prep
*I've really made great strides in this department, but I need to finish up a few more things.

2) Picture organize
*Yes, I want to get all my pictures, from the three different "digital storage devices" I have them on and put them all together in an organized fashion.  Then I want to order the prints from the most recent ones - then label the prints and put them in albums - hah, I laugh even as I type this.)

3) Knit baby hat
*I know, it is May, the baby does not need a hat, but it is a small project and I am still a "beginner knitter" and I just want to FINISH AN ENTIRE PROJECT already - as I have several started (including 2 slippers that don't match - one for my pair and one for my daughter's pair) but other than a small scarf and a few "pretty cloths," nothing really completed.

So these three, keeping the house clean, the laundry done, and the meals coming . . . that is the plan for the next few weeks.  Sounds like the plan for the past few years and probably the next few years, doesn't it?  But because of the nature of this time I am more acutely aware of all that is going on right now - living each moment more fully somehow.

Well, it is time for dinner.  I will stop with the ramblings now.  And I think I will just post this without thinking about it too much (as saving it will cause me to delay and then it will be obsolete).

So there it is.  Hopefully my next post will be pictures of our new little lady.

Blessings all!