More brainstorming for The Rule

It seems like my daily life is really under-going a major change with having two kids in school (Samuel only half day, 4 days a week), coupled with adapting to having four children to run after. I find that my time to spent on projects is rather broken up into small pieces. This is difficult because I cannot actually finish any project unless I stay up late and finish it once the kids go to bed - but the trouble is that I usually only stay up another hour or two after I put them to bed and this is normally time I spend reconnecting with the hubby. Although he does not mind giving me an occasional "work-night" I do fill guilty and somewhat over-worked to consider my evening hours a fitting time for "projects." So, as I am designing my new battle plan I am taking this into consideration. Even this very project (re-doing my rule of life) is seeming to take forever as I can't just sit down and do it, but rather sit down and think about it for five minutes here or there. I have some charts started on excel, but not finished. However, I am trying to take this to my advantage. By not doing this all at once it gives me lots of time to stew on things and really ponder what is best and why.

Last night as I was nursing Paul to sleep and pondering my new rule I remembered a story once told to me. A religious brother was playing cards during recreation time with his fellow brothers. He was asked what he would do if he was suddenly made aware that Jesus would be returning to earth in an hour. He answered that he would keep on playing cards as recreation is what he was supposed to be doing now. Initially I though this little antidote was to show that one's life needs to be in order at all times so we are always ready for Christ to come again - and it does show that - but it also has another meaning I just realized as I was remembering this story a second time. This religious brother understood that for everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1). Likewise, in vain is your earlier rising, your going later to rest, you who toil for the bread you eat; when he pours gifts on his beloved while they slumber (Psalm 127: 2). He understood that it is not all about what we get done, but more so, what we are doing. God does not expect us to do everything all at once - I think that is one of my biggest struggles. I want to get it all done right now! But that is not how we work. We work in time. The work will never be all done. I think I need to tell myself that again. The work will never be all done. So it is not so much a matter of completing tasks, as it is living in the moment and doing what needs to be done at this time. I am a very "do it" kind of person. I find much satisfaction in doing things (well, not just in doing, but in finishing things). But now, as my time is not my own, finishing things does not happen very often. Rather, I must stop working on one thing in order to work on another. This, for me, is being faithful to my calling. And it seems contrary to my very being to move on to something else before my current task is completed but once I am able to do so, I believe I will find my "Rule" much more helpful and livable. Plus, just allowing myself to put it down and get back to it another time/day should make me feel less stressed about - since I allow myself to not complete it and I have a plan for returning to it later.

An example of what I'm talking about is a little project I began for my daughter. She wanted a princess bible for Christmas last year. Well, there probably is such a thing made my someone but feeling frugal I decided I would make her a princess bible. I found a photo album with princesses on the cover and began to write my own stories from the bible - with pictures - printing them off and then cutting them to fit into the photo slots in the album. It was really brilliant and seemed to work rather well. Unfortunately, I did not get it finished. If I remember correctly my last little story was about the ten commandments. Now, perhaps I bit off a bit more than I could chew (this album held 200 photos - that is a lot of stories!) but I still feel called to finish this project. I gave her the Bible at Christmas time and explained that the blank pages would be filled as soon as I could get to them. Well, it is August of the next year and I have not "gotten back" to this project. In any case, I believe this is because I have spent too much time on other things - my giving of time is imbalanced and needs to be re-adjusted. Now, I'm not saying I should have just done nothing but this project - that would have been impractical - but surely I could find at least some time to allot for this - even if it is 30 minutes every other week. I'm not 100% sure, but I imagine I have spent too much time as parent and provider and too little time in prayer and on my own person (where I consider this task to fall - I'm not just doing this for her (which would be under Parent) - writing kids stories (aka re-telling bible stories, etc) is something I really enjoy doing. The categories go in order - Prayer, Person, Partner, Parent, Provider - for a reason. I have not respected that order and I think that is why I have been so stressed lately. I think I'm re-acting, rather than acting as it comes to parenting and my main focus has been on providing - Is there dinner on the table? Is the floor clean? Good, then I am doing my job - or so it would seem to an outsider, but inside my life is chaos as I am not just a mindless servant - I have inner thoughts and desires that need to be met and expressed. I need to spend time in prayer re-connecting with God and keeping my focus on why I am cooking dinner and cleaning. Likewise with parenting, I feel like I am going from one crisis to another. I am only dealing with what is in front of me - breaking up fights, so and so is hungry, etc - I need to be encouraging structured play, reading more books, focusing on chores for the kids, etc (not that they don't need time to just play on their own, too - but that is really all we have going right now). Anyhow, with this said, my family is DEMANDING my time and I have spent quite a bit here on this post, so I must go now and move on, even though I am definitely far from finished on this little project.

Looky looky - it is done! :)

At the parent info night for school, Rebekah's teacher gave us homework. She gave us each an over-sized sheet of paper and told us to take it home and decorate it - most importantly it needed to have our child's name on it. Then, when we brought them back she would laminate them and they would be the kids' work mats for when the did projects. She said that we could do it in secret and bring them back covered in newspaper so it would be a surprise for the kids when they first got to use them. It is really a brilliant idea - even though, being a perfectionsit, I am rather intimidated by these type of projects. In any case, last night I stayed up a little later than usual and here is what I came up with. I'm sure I don't hold a candle to tried and true "scrapbookers" but I think it will work. It pleases me (although I did get a little carried away with the stickers at the end - it was late and I was getting a loopy-tired).

Description:

The top left has our family photo with my "most creative" frame (aka I cut jagged and crazy on purpose because I know I can't cut straight). I wrote "We love you - Mom & Dad" at the top here as the very last thing because as I looked over all that I had done I realized that is EXACTLY what I was trying to say by making this as beautiful as I could for her. So I figured I might as well come out and say it directly.

Next to this is a picture of Jacob. I did his name in publisher and then cut it out all creative (all on my own - I get more and more artsy as I get more and more tired).

The sticker says "God hears us when we pray" - something that should never be forgotten!

The heart girl at the top is Princess Ariel - one of Rebekah's favorites.

Then there is a picture of Rebekah sitting in Daddy's lap.

Paul is on the lower left corner, looking all adorable, hands in his mouth.

Then there is a heart picture of Pocahontas - another of the princesses.

I did her name on publisher, as well - word art - gotta love it.

The ballerina came off of an old card - I think it symbolizes how I look at her often - she really loves dance.

Then there is a picture of Samuel (the only one I could find - but it works).

And last but not least is a small cut-out of Cinderella - her FAVORITE princess.

Under Cinderella is a sticker that reads, "The Lord Bless and Keep you."

Collecting my thoughts and making a plan

Yesterday I realized that Rebekah is going to be bringing home "homework" on a regular basis and we are going to have to start finding time to get it done (other than the last-minute dash way that really steals the fun out of things). So it is time to re-work the schedule. I am hesitant to schedule because of three main reasons:

1) I don't want to feel like I can't be spontaneous and follow where the moment leads.

2) I don't want to feel like I am somehow deficient just because we can't quite keep our schedule.

3) When I sit down to put together a schedule I get frustrated because there really IS NOT ENOUGH TIME in the day to do all the things I think need to be done and I have a difficult time allowing myself to believe I cannot do everything I think is important.

Anyhow, I really like the book A Mother's Rule of Life by Holly Pierlot. Unfortunately I cannot find my copy (must have lent it out and not gotten it back - but I can't remember who I lent it to). In any case, I remember the general parts so I guess I'll have to get started on what I can remember. I believe my biggest goal will be not trying to put TOO MUCH into the schedule. And I'm going to try breaking down my chores a bit more, too. I'm thinking that rather than saying I will clean both bathrooms today, I will instead shoot for cleaning the mirrors one day, the sinks the next day, the toilets another day, etc. Hopefully, this much smaller, more manageable task will be easier for me to stick to and actually do (as it has been lately I have not gotten to cleaning the bathrooms as often as I should simply because the task is a little overwhelming - it seems like the baby cannot sit by himself for more than five minutes at a time!!)

So, be on the look-out for my new battleplan. I'll be sure to post it here when I get it finished -hopefully in the next week or so.

Also on my to-do list is to make a master list of my pantry and freezer. I think this will help with my grocery shopping (so I will know exactly what I have and don't have) as well as making sure nothing expires (as my new list will include expiration dates). I might post a copy of what I come up with if anyone is interested.

And my final chore is putting away clothes the kids have out-grown and digging through the tubs for my clothes for Paul, who, btw, is now wearing 12 month clothing (at 3 months old!) - this boy can grow :)

Ok, enough planning - time to start doing again (and the baby is awake finally, so I can put down my "anchor" for a few minutes, I hope :)

1st Day of Kindergarten

Samuel REALLY wanted to go to school, too. He is going to pre-school but his first day is Sept 1, so he has to wait :(

A first for Paul

Ok, first I have a confesson to make. I have not been keeping "traditional" baby books for the kids. For Rebekah, I recorded everything I could think of in the baby book we got for her until. . . at about a year and a half I looked back and realized I missed recording when she took her first steps. This is quite possibly THE MOST IMPORTANT milestone and I MISSED RECORDING IT!! So after that I stopped recording altogether. I have not recorded anything for Samuel or Jacob (although I could loosly tell you about when the got teeth, or started walking). In any case, I don't feel guilty for not keeping track. It is kinda fun to know, but it is not essential. They will still grow up and feel loved even if I can't tell them the day they first got a haircut. For their baby books, instead, I have a three-ring-binder that I have kept cards people sent when they were born or for baptisms or birthdays, the check-up evaluations they get from the doctors (to show their size and weight at that time), pictures they painted, drew, colored, etc, and other things of this nature. It is something that they can go back to and glean a few details of their childhood from (at least I hope) and I feel like it is the best I can do right now. In any case, with all that said, I have noticed Paul doing something today and it has just struck me that I want to share it. (Maybe I will start a "typical" baby book for him after all :)

Today, Paul grabbed his blankie on purpose. He had it sitting on him. He wiggled around and reached down for it (not all the gracefully mind you) and put it in his mouth. Then he dropped it, wiggled a bit more and repeated several times. Goodness, he is ready to start grabbing things! But he is still MY BABY!! Oh, they grow up so fast. In any case, some day when he looks back on this post (assuming it will save and be able to be converted to whatever format we have by the time he is old enough to appreciate it) he can see that at almost exactly 3 months (3.2 to be precise) he started purposefully grabbing things. Let the growing up begin!

Jacob turns 2

The awesome car cake is thanks to Aunt Lisa, the "awesome" cake maker & decorator.

Brooklyn & Rebekah in their "Party garb"

Jacob with his presents