It all started in the middle of the night. The baby has been GOING to sleep better than ever! The trouble is she is not doing so well at STAYING ASLEEP. Between two and four hours is generally all she will give me. Now, I THOUGHT I had learned a thing or two with my five babies so far, but Miriam is making me stretch as she will nurse fine, but instead of drifting off when she is done she will pull off and chatter at me or wiggle and kick until I put her back in her crib to drift back to sleep. So three or four times a night I am getting her from her crib, laying down to nurse her in my bed (perhaps I should just go for the chair here?) and then getting back up a half hour to an hour later to put her back in her bed. Ugh. That really makes for a LONG night of LITTLE sleep! My hope is that she is growing or cutting teeth or something else that will pass SOON and give me a chance to sleep a bit more as I am beginning to go a little crazy. It has been MANY YEARS since I got a full-night's sleep, but my body is definitely letting me know that this is not acceptable for very long and I KNOW I could be slipping toward getting sick again if I am not careful!
So, I finally dragged myself out of bed about 9am - once the baby babble and wiggles that had been present for the past hour beside me finally woke me enough to get on with the morning routine. Kids dressed, breakfast, and then I made the "to do" list:
scrub kitchen floor
scrub dining room floor
vacuum carpet
clean both bathrooms
clean out fridge (it is due for a good scrub-down)
put away toys and such in the Study (our "catch-all" room that houses A LOT of "stuff")
Just a "few" things. Oh and I threw in diapers and planned to do a few loads of regular laundry, as well.
But then something happened. I think maybe I just "snapped."
Back Story:
A while back I had this yearning to play Super Nintendo again (the game system we had when I was a kid). Since they no longer make this system, they have emulators that you can download and play the games on your computer. I purchased a controller similar to the Super Nintendo controller (ok, it was practically the same thing, minus the "Super Nintendo" logo and the plug was USB). Gordie had just gotten it set up for me a few days ago.
I sat down in front of the computer to play a "few minutes" of the Super NES games I had downloaded (The Legend of Zelda and Super Mario All-Stars). I figured I would play a few minutes and let the kids see how it worked and then let them at it so I could clean. I know, great Mom here. Hey, Gordie was not even AWAKE yet, so I had him beat by a mile :)
Well, a few minutes and I did stop because the baby was fussy and other things made me GRUMPY!! I was losing and it was not my fault! That always makes me grumpy. But within in a few minutes Samuel and Rebekah were "stuck." I could hear them trying to figure things out and finally came over to "rescue" them, only to sit down and play for SEVERAL HOURS STRAIGHT!! Gordie finally got up and made lunch. I kept playing. I put the baby to bed for her nap and thought about working out, only to find myself AGAIN playing this silly game!! Finally I dragged myself away from this mindless drivel (that was oh so entertaining) and out for a run to enjoy this beautiful weather.
It has been A LONG TIME since I even THOUGHT about running, but it mostly came back - the thoughts anyway. I started. I got in the groove, I felt for the rhythm. I think I finally found the rhythm, but I never quite found the "runners' high." I hurt everywhere. My chest was going to explode, my mouth was dry, my nose was running. I was going slow enough that breathing was not an issue - thank God for that one. But I really felt like I was running through water! My feet and legs were lead. It basically sums up in: I FELT OLD!
But I pushed on. And although that magical adrenaline rush that makes all the physical pain disappear (the runners' high) never came, I did manage a little theological reflecting. I realized, that despite the pain, I really enjoyed this. I enjoyed the challenge. I enjoyed doing something I did not think I could. It made me think about virtue and sin. Virtue is hard. It is struggling and striving for something we do not think we can do! Sin is easy. It is not necessarily fun. In fact, in my experience, sin is down-right disappointing, but it is easy and believable.
Yep, that's all.
Then about 20 minutes from my house, after this great theological reflection I realized something else. . . I was pretty-much "tapped out" as far as energy reserves go. I am not what I used to be. It was sheer stubbornness and pride that kept me plodding along. And although I SERIOUSLY contemplated stopping at the local Catholic Campus Center (that I was fairly near at this point) and calling Gordie to come pick me up, my pride said NO!! You can get home!! (Stupid pride.)
Well, 20 minutes later (and maybe an extra five for the few times I let myself walk a bit) I managed to drag myself inside. I probably will not be able to walk tomorrow (heck, I can hardly walk now) but. . . a day of mindless video games followed by psychotic exercise. Not the typical Saturday here, but there you have it. And if you have read this far you probably:
A) Had a VERY BORING day yourself.
B) Are simply so amazed by me that you cannot help but read every word I write (hahaha :)
C) Deserve a prize
Oh and if you are just sitting around wondering what to do with yourself tonight or tomorrow, my house could still use some cleaning. . . .
Happy Saturday :)
Do you not know that in a race the runners all compete, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win it. Athletes exercise self-control in all things; they do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable one. So I do not run aimlessly, nor do I box as though beating the air; but I punish my body and enslave it, so that after proclaiming to others I myself should not be disqualified.
(1 Corinthians 9:24-27)
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