Adventures in Motherhood

She looks so innocent, right? 

I now have five children, the oldest being seven-years-old. One would think that I might finally know what I am doing. But the following story would prove how new babies humble even those that might be considered “experienced.”

I needed to run a VERY important errand to the bank. I took the baby who had been sleeping since just before lunch. (It was now about 2pm.) I woke the baby as I changed her diaper, but I figured she would be waking up soon to eat anyhow, so I would nurse her at the bank. We got to the bank and I had to wait. I waited on one of those nice comfortable couches – all by myself. It would have been a GREAT time to nurse the baby. But the baby was sleeping. I got waited on and left alone again. Another EXCELLENT time to nurse the baby came and went with baby sleeping. I finished up at the bank and SHOULD have gone home as I knew the baby would be wanting to eat soon, but we were down to half a gallon of milk at home. We often have up to 5 gallons of milk in the fridge (as we drink a lot of milk). A half gallon MIGHT make us through dinner, but would probably run out before cereal in the morning. So Miriam and I headed to the grocery store. I needed to use the restroom, so after putting on the moby wrap and inserting Miriam, I headed to the Ladies' room. I was prepared to nurse her as I shopped. It was after 3pm at this point and she had not nursed since before lunch. In fact, in the Ladies' room I attempted to get her “situated” to nurse while I shopped. I was proud of myself for doing so, however, Miriam was barely awake and not really that interested. Fine. I readjusted her and my clothing again and left the bathroom. Then I realized I did not tie the moby tight enough (as I'm out of practice with it) and Miriam was seriously sagging. So I laid her on a blanket in the cart and readjust the moby tighter. I put her back in, but now she was awake. Uh oh. We made it over to get some bread and she started to fuss. I tried to calm her. Oh no, NOW she wanted to nurse. Unfortunately, cinching the moby up tighter made it fairly difficult to nurse in it now. Miriam got louder. Really child? You are the quietest, calmest baby I have had so far and you are throwing a fit in the middle of the grocery store? Sigh. I take off the moby, throw a blanket over my shoulder and nurse the baby. I continue my shopping, smiling and being friendly and praying no one tries to peak under my blanket – as seeing a “fresh” baby is a treasure for many, but would come a price this time. About half way through my shopping my arm starts to cramp. I am out of practice at nursing with no carrier and walking around. Then I realize she has fallen asleep so I readjust her again to a burp rag on my shoulder and spend the next 6 years trying to re-snap my nursing bra with one hand. I am WAY out of practice on that apparently. Finally I am readjusted AGAIN, but having one hand on a baby severely limits my shopping speed. I ponder this as I one-hand four gallons of milk into my cart. Even readjusting the groceries so the bread is not squished and the eggs are safe, is such a tedious task. Finally we make it to the checkout. I pick a busy one to give myself time to get the groceries up, one by one. Now, out to the car, but first I less than gracefully try to throw a blanket over Miriam to shield her from the bright sun. Her arching as I hit the sunlight tells me my attempt was futile as the blanket bunched and did not make it over her head. I get her to the cart and start the car to cool it down. After the third trip of putting the groceries in I finally realize cars cool down faster when you actually turn the air conditioner on, not just the engine. Sigh again. When I have about two bags of groceries left, the cart gets a mind of its own, slides into the front of the our van, falls off the curb and almost into the van sitting beside us. For the record, this has NEVER happened to me before, even on the windiest of days. Only TODAY. As I get in the car I realize it is almost 4:30pm. A grocery store trip that would normally take between 20 and 30 minutes has just taken over an hour. Yep, I am definitely out of practice living life with a newborn.