Pondering the 40 hour work week

Disclaimer: this is a long-winded post -not for the faint of heart or easily bored. . .

Lately I have noticed that I am wearing "a little thin" on the edges.  I'm a little snappy, quicker to anger, slower to think, just flat-out tired.  Noticing was the first step, now I am working on fixing and it has dawned on me that I might need to rethink my schedule. (AGAIN I might add - as I am always trying to fix my schedule it seems! :)  But seriously, I think I am on to something here.  It seems like stay-home-moms are viewed as either not working at all or working INSANELY harder than anyone with a "regular job."  I don't really see it as either.  Some days it is easier than a "real job" and other days it is more difficult.  It probably evens out.  But the catch is the hours.  I begin "work" when the first child wakes up - technically that means I work almost nonstop insofar as the baby is concerned.  Granted there are a few times were she naps for an hour or two at a time, or someone else can give her a pacifier for a bit, but generally I am "on call" 24 hours, 7 days a week.  Now, the catch is that a baby is easy to care for (and so rewarding as holding a sleeping baby is so sweet) so I don't really consider taking care of the baby as "work."  However, taking care of the other children, although sometimes rewarding, is OFTEN exactly like (or more difficult than) work.  Now, the 2-year-old generally gets up at 7am (sometimes a little before) and does not go to bed until 7pm (and lately has been giving SO MUCH TROUBLE at bedtime that he really is not actually asleep until closer to 9pm).  That is a LONG DAY!!  7am to 6:30pm five days a week is. . a bit more than a 40 hour work week.

*Side note: I am considering a 40 hour work week the "typical" or "ideal" for the average worker - setting aside there are several professions where this is not an option due to the nature of the position, but I'm just giving a general idea here.

And it is EVERY DAY.  Weekends, Daddy is home but then we specifically do family things or he does projects and I do what I do all week - be in charge of the kids, cook, clean, run errands, etc. So unless I specifically take a break, there is not really one built in. Granted Daddy does get done with work around 6:30pm and often puts the kids to bed (and back to bed several times).  And there theoretically is a little time in the evening, but that is generally our "couple time" where Daddy and I spend time doing things together.  And I think this is important for our marriage and it is enjoyable, but it is not quite enough.  It is not really a break, just a change (well, and less work - Gordie does not make nearly as big a mess as the two-year-old :)

Now, there are times during the day when the kids are "mostly occupied" so I can do things like read a little (if I can handle being interrupted every 2 minutes or so :) or check facebook or write a letter or pay a bill, etc.  But the catch is that I'm ALWAYS ON, even when I'm not specifically playing with or doing things for the kids.  Even now as I try to collect my thoughts here I have been interrupted an average of every minute or two (and let me tell you it is wrecking havoc on my thought process - I hope this makes some sense when I'm done).  So what I'm trying to say is that I don't really get coffee or smoke breaks - if that makes sense.  I don't really get a true break until every child is in bed (or in the 2-year-old's case, asleep), unless I leave the house for some reason or another in the evening and leave the kids with Daddy.    This is basically my point.  I'm not writing this for pity or to awe you with my "amazingness." (although you are more than welcome to think I am amazing :)  What I am trying to say in many more words than necessary is that I NEED A BREAK SOMETIMES!!!  There I said it.  I love my job.  I love my kids.  I love my life.  But sometimes I NEED A BREAK!!  I need to leave the "chatterboxes" and go somewhere and soak up some quiet.  I need to eat a meal I don't have to cook or clean up after.  This really hit home as I left the house to take dinner to a friend a few days ago.  It was a 15 to 20 minute drive to her house.  Now, I took my oldest child and the baby.  The baby was sleeping and the oldest child was blessedly quiet, or maybe she was just not asking any difficult questions at the moment.  Honestly I cannot quite remember, but I do remember how I FELT.  I had some music on and I just sat there and enjoyed it as we drove.  It felt wonderful - like soaking up sunshine on the beach.  It was only at that moment I realized how much I NEEDED this break.  I know I need adult conversation regularly (as does my husband - haha) so I often meet with other adults (often stay-home-moms) during the day, but this was more than just adult conversation.  This was uninterrupted quiet - well there was music, so perhaps it would be more precise to say it was uninterrupted pleasure - something I have trouble getting during the day.

Now, if you have actually read up to this point, you are probably thinking, "well, this certainly is not earth shattering.  Many poeple have come to this conclusion before."  And of course you are right.  Although this was my "ah ha" moment where it really hit home, that is not my main point for bringing this up.  My point is that now I have a plan. . . and I'm curious what you think of it.  Or if you have already come to these conclusions and have a plan of your own to share.  Ideally I would take time to actually leave the kids, but this would require outside help for babysitting.  Although Daddy does give me some time away, he works all week and needs some down time as well, plus he has projects and friends and other commitments.  So a sporadic day or evening out and away while Daddy keeps watch is a necessity, but unfortunately, in my case those have been too few and far between (and with Daddy's new crazy work requirements it could be a LONG WHILE before things "settle" and he is able to relax a bit and spend more time with the kids, simultaneously freeing me up). 

So here is my plan. . . one day a week I take an "easy day."  I'm still plotting how this will all shape up, but I want to see it as at best, a less stressful day where my "regular duties" are decreased or avoided as much as possible.  I want to take a day where all we eat is left-overs or sandwiches or whatever does not require effort. I suppose we could get dressed, but I want to have no "to do list" or appointments or errands to run on this day.  I want to have no activities planned for the kids (well, maybe a playdate if I want to get some "adult conversation").  I want to do no laundry, do no cleaning (unless, of course, I feel like it and that is another post entirely - taking pleasure in simple chores).  I want to get up and goof off as best I am able.  And most importantly - I want to do all this and NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT!!  I basically just want to set my expectations a little lower and have a "chill" day because we all need a break once in a while.  So, what do you think?  Or do you do this already?

He said to them, "Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while."  For many were coming and going and they had no leisure even to eat."  (Mark 6:31)